All The Podcasts
Follow along as Hank wanders around the literal and metaphoric wilderness in search of something meaningful or meaningless or thoughtful or thoughtless to talk about... Don't forget to subscribe!
It's Not A Pet It's A Prisoner
Episode Summary -- 1/21/2021
Mousetraps, matching socks, ferrets, rats, forked tongues and a rousing conversation about the difference between pets and an animal prisoners.... Listen with your dog! Enjoy!
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It's Not A Pet It's A Prisoner
Mousetraps, matching socks, ferrets, rats, forked tongues and a rousing conversation about the difference between pets and an animal prisoners.... Listen with your dog! Enjoy!
Happy New Beer!
Happy New Year and Happy New Beer everyone! Here's the kick off to season three. Raccoons in Christmas trees, $700 ski pants, resolutions to steer clear of and much much more. Hambone! Jammies! Enjoy!
We Wish You A Merry Fishmas!
Season 2’s finale is a not so extravagant Hank Patterson Holiday Extravaganza! If you’re looking for a list of things not to purchase the outdoor human in your life or advice on what to pay for a dog, this is the episode for you. Thanks for a super successful season two! Happy Holidaze! Enjoy.
Warm Heart Cockles
Here's a super awesome episode about Kangaroo Island, Pygmy Possums, imitation vanilla, a surprising fact about beavers and the multitude of things Hank's lost in the wilderness. Enjoy!
A Drumstick In Every Bite!
A man's puppy pulled from the jaws of an alligator, delicious snack crackers, a haystack tarp cover you won't want to miss and an assortment of products you might have forgotten existed. Hope you enjoy!
This week Hank & Kevin drone on and on about climbing mountains, missing hook sets, chrome water & tiny flies, how dirty is too dirty when it comes to your truck, losing your pride, a little ditty 'bout Rick and Monica and where to find the silver lining in you outdoor misadventures. Enjoy!
Yellowstone Fart Chicken
Before digging into the always controversial topic of "hot spotting" (aka "sharing info. on where you were fishing or hunting") Hank and Kevin chat about how to infuse a whole new flavor into your chicken and the importance of keeping your dog away from your gun. It's a whole lot of nonsense... We promise! Enjoy!
Stuffed With Ghost Peppers
Fear Factor delicacies, sugar junky monkey gangs, exotic pet petting zoos and the life cycle of the common fly fisher... This one's a doozy. Enjoy!
Harry Potter and The Magic Glow Gun
Words of wisdom... Will likely not be uttered in this episode. Hank makes friends with a skunk, drowns his phone in the river, considers a lawn mowing career, reminds us all that "it ain't the gears fault" and advises us where you can find the most reliable outdoor gear for your next trip. Enjoy!
Enjoy The Journey
Here's more information about the mating habits of the porcupine than you should ever need, along with a solid reason to never job in Utah, how to make an award winning cobbler and finally a deep, meaningful, transcendental, life affirming conversation about the finite nature of life and how it effects our outdoor adventures. Enjoy!
Gored, Golf and Sad Sacks
This week takes us on a random journey of topics including Hank cancelling his gym membership, another in a long list of why you shouldn't play golf, Shiela's pet deer and a dedication to all the sad sack, unsuccessful hunters and fishers and much much more. Enjoy!
Who Provides The Beer?
You won't want to miss parts of this one! Corporate golden parachutes, bears recycling, Grizzly Prints, Hank's week at a VRBO in Island Park, Idaho and finally some insight into the etiquette of inviting and being invited on a fishing trip. Hambone! FlapJack!
If You Go To Find Yourself, Bring Groceries
So you want to be a mountain man... Join Hank and Kevin for a conversation about Dan Haggerty's beard, the real Jeremiah Johnson, liver recipes, ornery mules, Mt. Man hygiene, The Revenant and other complete nonsense.
Grab your clipboard and a ballpoint pen, Hank's got his Life Coach hat on and is ready to impart some sure fire career advice you won't find anywhere else. The rest of the show is spent discussing miracle python spawn, rabbit predators, a Montana campground escapee and the Twilight Zone. It's a hot mess of randomness. Enjoy!
Lordy Be Hank Got Outside!
Here's an episode featuring bears eating candy in supermarkets, Kevin's illustrious football career and Hank's most recent day on the water. Settle into the pew, Hank's about to hop on the soap box and preach about the glories of just getting outside. Enjoy!
Shark Week's got nothing on Sasquatch Week! Here's an episode that starts with some pack out what you pack in advice for outdoor newbies and slowly devolves into a conversation about the many cable network shows searching for twelve foot fur creatures with glowing red eyes and an unmatched talent for hide and go seek. Enjoy! Hambone!
Bison At The Cheesecake Factory
If you're looking to learn practically nothing about genetically modified mosquitoes, male pattern eagle baldness, bears vs wolf packs and new bikinis for men look no further than this weeks episode! We got you covered. Enjoy!
Babe 3 The Reckoning
This week, Hank is joined by Kevin and Jake to discuss the etiquette of being a driver or passenger on a road trip to the outdoors BUT before that... Snakes In SUV AC Systems, Fecal Transplants, Pants Stealing Boars and a looming Pepperoni emergency. Enjoy!
Don't Forget To Forget The Salad
Escaped alligators, newspapers, bears eating peanut butter sandwiches and what not to eat while camping are just a few of the hard hitting topics tackled in this weeks incredibly important episode. Enjoy! Hambone!
Just Say Nope
This weeks episode features - Bears kickin' in doors, Hank's old man and his weaponry, brother in law got a new boat and when it's ok and not ok to bail on a fishin' trip. It's a "not to be missed" episode. Enjoy! -Hank
Chainsaw Wielding Baboons
This weeks list of topics goes something like this... Tooth Aches, Armed Baboons, Yellowstone Trip, Nunchucks, Silent Motorcycles, High School Musical and planning a trip to Alaska. Enjoy!
This weeks episode features random and rousing conversations about playing dead during a Bison Attack, Star Wars and how to prepare yourself or a friend or a family member for a first time ever camp trip. If you've never ever never camped or are taking a friend who's never ever never gone camping on a camping trip, here's some solid advice on how to make it a successful trip. Enjoy! Hambone!
Hank's Fortress Of Solitude
In this weeks episode Hank and Kevin discuss Hank's recent outdoor adventure including an earth quake, a perfect crime and a silhouette image you won't soon forget. That nonsense segues to in depth conversation about surviving in the wilderness, domesticating grizzly bears and writing a novel. Enjoy!
RV’s and Keggers and Bears Oh My!
This weeks grab bag of content includes solid advice on how to avoid wild animal attacks, whether or not to camp on 4th of July weekend and a completely random and pointless conversation about the pros and cons of owning and driving a 50 foot motor coach RV. Enjoy!
Hank Needed To Go Fishing
Hank's solo this week with an hour and twenty minute stream of consciousness all about his recent fishing trip, being Alone and a whole lot more. This one may be better listened to with a beer beverage in hand. Hambone! Cheers! FlapJack! Enjoy.
PYTHONS, HOP SCOTCH, VISION QUESTS AND MORE
This week Hank and Kevin are talking Python Hunting in the Everglades, running into a group of Vision Questers, Star Gazing, Hop Scotching and a whole lot more. Grab a beers, crank up the laugh track and enjoy!
Slippery Steps and Marbles
This week Hank is joined by his friends Kevin and Jake to ramble on about marble racing, camping in the middle of dirt roads and people who litter. It's a gem! Hambone! Enjoy!
Workin' A Big Brown
By the time the show starts Hank and Kevin will have already talked apple pie, tater tots, strawberry rhubarb pie, small town greasy spoons and a whole lot more before moving on to conversations Hank eavesdropped on a recent fishing trip. Enjoy!
Hey, Watch Your Step!
This weeks episode includes some not so in depth and completely out of focus discussions about the Big Bang Theory, sneaking into Yellowstone, selfies, tourist site photography and much more and much less from Hank and Kevin. Enjoy the show!
First Degree Murder Hornets
After a lengthy look into Hank's Financial Planning plans or lack there of, Hank offers up a deep nonsensical and uneducated dive into the imminent threat that Murder Hornets and other bugs pose to our outdoor activities and lives in general. MurderHornet! Hambone! ArmyAnt! Enjoy.
Catch Keep Release Repeat
Here's an episode to douse the flames of the historic battle betwixt catch and releasers and catch and keepers! No matter how you like your fish... released to the river or released to your cooler, you're sure to learn very little! Enjoy the show!
Social Distancing Elmo
This week, Hank is joined by his friend Jake to randomly discuss baking, Oreos, Sesame Street and how to discourage others from camping or fishing near you. Enjoy!
Buckle up, this one's a doozy... After a rousing conversation involving cow urine and essential oils, Hank and Kevin are talking about what they most look forward to getting out and doing in the great outdoors when the country opens back up. Enjoy!
Rat Gangs and Urine
Somewhere among the nonsense Hank and Kevin discuss drinking while working at home, rat cannibalism, urine particulates, tax write offs and how close is too close when camping, hiking and hiking. Enjoy!
Quarantine The Wien!
This week Hank is turning that frown upside down, finding silver linings, discussing poop way too much, finding positives in a sea of negatives, changing his perspective and giving detailed instruction on how best to "rough it" in your own back yard. Enjoy! Hambone!
What Are You Bringing To The Apocalypse?
Here's the beginning of what's sure to be a crazy Season Two of the show! Sitting alone in the studio, weathering the pandemic and earthquake near his home, Hank shares thoughts on our current quarantine situation, hoarding, finding help, giving help and then calls a few friends to chat about the three things they plan to bring to the apocalypse. Strange times, strange podcast, thanks for listening! Hambone! Jammies!
Please Don't Shake Hank's Hand
Here's an episode all about Hank's recent travels, hand sanitizer, hand washing, toilet paper alternatives and Hank's general germaphobia. Hash Pound No Hand Shakes! Enjoy!
Alone In The Wilderness
Hank, Alex and Kevin talk about star sightings in Ketchum Idaho, Hank's new favorite outdoor tv show and surviving alone in the wilderness. It's everything you hope for in this podcast and much much less. Hambone! Backpack! Enjoy!
The F3T Road Crew
In this super long hot mess of an episode Hank is joined by his friends Paul, Austin and Nick from the F3T Fly Fishing Film Tour. Topics include fly fishing films, snoring, Bay Watch, windowless vans and much, much, much, much more. Enjoy! Hambone!
The Reel Recovery Experience
Here's a bit of a departure from our regularly scheduled episodes! My friends Tim and Michelle join me to talk about an organization that means a whole hell of a lot to me - Reel Recovery. Enjoy! Be Well Fish On! Hambone! -Hank
Wouldn't Do That!
There are adventures we do, adventures we aspire to, adventures we'd like to aspire to but let's face it we'll never be able to do that and adventures that we have zero interest in even trying. In this episode Hank shares a list of super cool outdoor adventures that he has no interest in attempting. Enjoy! Hambone!
Making An Outdoor Film?
Hank shares his thoughts on rattle snakes, iguanas falling from trees and things to consider if you're thinking about making your very own outdoor film. It's a whole lot of nearly valuable information and opinions. Action! Snap It! Enjoy!
Camping Hacks By Camping Hacks
Among other nonsense Hank talks about a recent ski trip, inflatable bear spray suits, the cup size of his face and an assortment of mostly bad camping hack ideas. Prepare your ears! Thanks for listening! Jammies! Enjoy.
Firecracker In The Marshmallow er Games Part 2
Hank shares his thoughts on TV's Man Vs. Bear & the very competitive sport of Slapping someone in the face. We also pick up from last weeks episode and talk games to play while camping including The Winking Assassin & Truth Or Dare. And if that weren't enough, Hank also shares some games you should NOT play. Enjoy! Hambone!
Games To Play While Camping
When just being in nature isn't enough, here are some games you can play while heading to the campgrounds, while at the campgrounds, while around the fire and more. From cornhole to slug bug - from eye spy to trivial pursuit, we've got some doozies for you. So many, in fact, that we ran out of time. There are one or two "cover the kids ears" moments, so listen close! Hambone! -Hank
Kevin Brought Beer
When your friend Erik brings beer, you record a show. When Kevin brings beer the next day, you record a new show and then just mash the two shows together into one jumbled mess. Hope you enjoy it! Hambone! -Hank
Ahhhh The Holidaze
Here's an episode with everything you'd expect from Hank during the holidays - Christmas Carols sung poorly, bad Christmas memories, commercialism and a fair amount of complaining. It's the gift you hope stops giving! Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Merry Fishmas and thanks for listening! Hambone! Candy Cane! Enjoy.
Winter Hot Spots
After a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT and a little panhandling - Hank is joined by his good friend Charene to chat about internet trolls, a recent fly fishing excursion, how not to net a fish and finally where do you want to go adventuring during the winter months?" Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Winter In The Out Of Doors
In this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex discuss their favorite and least favorite winter olympic sports, how "The Shining" could have been a comedy instead of horror film and the importance of embracing outdoor activities to get you through the long cold winter. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
It's Thanksgiving Hank Patterson!
Since we're taking Thanksgiving off (and hopefully you are too), I thought I'd release this special a week in advance. Learn all about how much I do or do not love turkey and just how close we all were to Thanksgiving being all about eating bald eagle meats. Enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving! -Hank SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Guides, clients and other ramblings.
In this long meandering and often times entertaining episode, Hank is joined by his good friend and fellow fishing guide Colby Crossland. The many topics discussed are fly fishing, instagraming, being a client, being a guide, movies and voice mail messages. Hope you enjoy it! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Manufacturing The Outdoors
In addition to telling us about his recent southern California theme park vacation, Hank shares a riveting story about a the the television programming he finds at 3am when suffering from insomnia. It's an episode all about pretending to be outside while you're actually outside. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
How To Tell A Halloween Campfire Story
There's nothing better than a good old fashioned Halloween campfire story! In this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex walk you through all the scary elements required to tell your own story. Boo! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Here's an episode that begins with the unbelievable story of Hank's one and only ever experience watching a neighbor's dog and then goes on to tackle the question "what is your dream outdoor industry job?" Give a listen and share with us your dream job. Snap It! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
In this, another incredibly uninformative episode, Hank, Kevin and Alex discuss the essential amenities that every single wilderness lodge should provide their guests. Give a listen and see if Hank's list checks all your boxes. Hambone! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Don't Try The Blowfish!
If you're looking for an episode where three morons talk about the top ten or eleven most dangerous deadly animals in the world, look no further! Here it is. As a bonus Hank sings the theme song to the film Meatballs! Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
If you LOVE hearing somebody ramble on and on about their vacation that you weren't invited on, you're going to LOVE this weeks episode. Add some whiskey to your beer, kick back and enjoy a recap of Kevin and Hank's bro-trip to Cleveland Ohio! If you find this episode half as funny as Hank did while recording, you're sure to have a good time. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
The Very Definition Of Dedication
Don't let the number 27 fool you. This is not an episode. This is an episode about not having an episode. We're all too sick with a cold, the flu and walking pneumonia to put together a full episode. Kevin called in sick. Alex doesn't want to be around sick people. Hank was tough enough and dedicated enough to head into the studio and record this amazing non episode. We'll be back next week with the real deal. In the meantime, please enjoy listening to Hank's cold. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
It's not for everyone.
While Alex is away chasing her filmmaking dreams, Hank is joined by Kevin and his friend Lila whom you may recognize from the Hank Patterson's Camp Hawgadawgadaa series. On this episode we've got a record number of bleeps and a rousing discussion about outdoor activities we would or would not try. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Relationship Advice For The Outdoorsy
Finally, a thoughtful, insightful, spot on podcast with sound relationship advice for those who enjoy the great outdoors! And who better to give that bullet proof advice than expert relationship-er Hank Patterson?! Are you an indoorsy human with an outdoorsy significant other? This podcast is for you. Outdoorsy with and indoorsy spouse? Listen up and save the marriage. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Does The Outdoor World Really Need That?
Join Hank, Kevin and Alex on a search for the most ridiculous outdoor items money can buy. From canned sandwiches to bear spray backpacks, you're sure to find something so seemingly absurd you'll want to buy it. Enjoy!
Wolf Attacks & Gear Not To Splurge On
On this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex spend a record amount of time not getting to the point... Buckle up for our longest (that doesn't mean best) episode yet all about wolf attacks, barrels of body parts and outdoor gear you could or maybe shouldn't skimp on.
Do I Have A Job Tomorrow?
On this episode Hank is joined by friend, camera guy, editor and crew member Jake Hixon. They talk about a myriad of random things including silver salmon, frozen pizza, fishing into waterfalls and dropping eight thousand dollar cameras on concrete. Enjoy!
Just when we thought we had nothing to talk about on this weeks episode, Hank fell on his face. Here's an episode all about getting injured in the wilderness. Pro Tip: Wear pants when climbing up rock walls. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
A Not So Artsy Conversation With Ed Anderson
Finally, Hank gets to share his vast knowledge of the art world and all it's ism's - cubism, surrealism, expressionism, impressionism - with you listeners. On this episode Hank is joined by his good friend Artist Ed Anderson. It's a conversation about practically nothing and most of Hank's jokes fall flat. Ed and Alex do a hell of a job. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Grapes of Wrath Campground
Take your thinking caps off! You won't need them for this or any other episode of this podcast. On this weeks show Hanks shares some random observations about camping, campgrounds, driving fast, littering and much more. Because nobody else would come talk to him, Hank is again joined by Alex and Kevin. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Camping With The Dogs
There's no better camping companion than a dog. Unless it's a dog that bites people in the face or a dog that never stops barking or unless you're an owner who yells at the dog to stop barking more than the dog actually barks or unless your dog hates the outdoors. Other than that, there's no better camping companion. Here's Hank, Kevin and Alex talking about 1/2 the things you need to consider if you're considering taking your dog camping. Enjoy.
Finally, a rambling podcast that goes right to the heart of the controversial issues associated with how we, as a society, define what is or is not camping and what should or should not be considered a campground. Listen. Camp. Learn nothing. Repeat. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Bad Movies Are For Camping
Among other nonsense, Hank, Alex and Kevin discuss camp hosts cleaning bathrooms, gluten free beer, exploding whales and whether or not to watch movies while camping.
Hank's Trip To Bozeman
If you thought the other episodes were about absolutely nothing at all, wait'll you hear this one! Hank complains about his cold, talks about the ice cream truck, looks at property near West Yellowstone, drops in to Bozeman and fishes Silver Creek. You get to hear random bits about his trip. Enjoy!
Owning A Cabin
Owning a cabin is the dream of many outdoor enthusiasts. A quiet, relaxing getaway somewhere far from the hustle and bustle of the honk honk and beep beep of the city. But is it truly worth it? Is the dream a lie? In this episode Hank, Alex and Kevin discuss whether owning a cabin is truly a dream or an absolute nightmare.
Blah Blah Blah Hank Ate An Entire Cheesecake
In this episode about absolutely nothing in particular Hank and Alex are joined by their fishing friend Charene "The Adventure Queen" Herrera. They talk about fly fishing, women in fly fishing, adventuring, Idaho, Montana and cheesecake.
Hank's Guide To Kauai
Freshly back from basking in the glorious sun on the island of Kauai, Hank's ready to share some tips on how you too can enjoy telling everyone about your vacation. Listen carefully, useful bits of information in this episode are few and far between. Hambone!
Are you ready to embark on your summer outdoor adventures? Geared up? Destinations identified? Dates circled on the calendar? On this episode, Hank, Kevin and Sean (sitting in for Alex) give some tips you likely haven't considered and certainly won't find anywhere else on how you can get the most out of your summer. Five minutes of solid advice in an hour long podcast! Enjoy.
The Pointless Joys Of Hiking
The only thing more meandering and off the beaten path than actual hiking is this episode! Hank is, once again, joined by Kevin and Alex for an in-depth, in-correct and off the rails discussion on all things hiking. Enjoy!
In this episode Hank is in Missoula, Montana, recording with his good friends Tom Rosenbauer, Hilary Hutcheson, Joel Thompson and Erik Moncada. It's an episode that starts off the rails and never finds its way back. You're sure to learn absolutely nothing from some of fly fishing's greatest. HashPound Ticks! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
The History Of Camping
Here's a history lesson you'll never find in a book! Hank Patterson's History Of Camping. Join Hank, Kevin and engineer Alex as they meander aimlessly, from cavemen to the pioneers, through the rich history of camping. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
This week, Hank is joined by Trout Unlimited President and CEO, Chris Wood! For the first time in the Outdoor Misadventure's podcast history, many intelligent and thoughtful things will be said. Hank will also talk. Thanks for listening! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Wading In Rivers
In this episode, despite his continued promise that you will learn absolutely nothing by listening to his podcast, Hank teaches us some proper and likely improper techniques on how to wade in a river. Hank's lawyers would also appreciate it if we mention that following a single word of Hank's advice is at your own risk. Hambone! Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Camping with the kids
What's better than taking the kids into the great outdoors? You're about to find out. Join Hank and Alex as Hank talks and talks and talks and talks and mumbles and talks all about the joys of not taking the kids on your next camping or fishing trip. Apologies to the kids and parents. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Tents VS. Campers
Join Hank as he, Alex the engineer and indoorsy expert Kevin explore the pros and cons of tent vs. camper camping. Learn everything you need to know about whether you identify as a "tent camper" or "camper camper." SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
That one time in Alaska
Hank and fishing guide buddy friend Chris Ger-O-No! share stories from their 8 day float down the Arolik River in Alaska. You'll learn very little while laughing a lot. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
How To Survive Yellowstone National Park
In this episode Hank is joined by friend Kevin Nielsen to discuss the dangers of visiting, adventuring and vacationing in Yellowstone National Park. Hank shares his never tried and likely not true methods of survival, a wealth of statistical misinformation and a hell of a lot of laughs in what he considers and "instant classic" episode. Snap It! Stay In Your Car! Do Not Feed The Bison! See you at the park! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
If Hank Talks In A Forest...
At long last, Hank Patterson's first ever Podcast. Welcome to the disaster! On this episode Hank focuses, as he often does, on Hank. What makes Hank tick? What are Hank's credentials? What are Hank's earliest memories of camping and fishing? Joining Hank is our resident indoorsman, Kevin Nielsen. It's our first, it can only get better from here and it's way way better with beer. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Hank Patterson's Outdoor Misadventures Coming Soon!
Hold on to your tent flaps and fly rods! Hank Patterson is about to launch his brand new, super shiny, way hilarious PODCAST.... Hank Patterson's Outdoor Misadventures! Launching Thursday March 14th Subscribe today and prepare to forget everything you ever thought you knew about camping, fly fishing and surviving in the outdoors!