All The Podcasts

Follow along as Hank wanders around the literal and metaphoric wilderness in search of something meaningful or meaningless or thoughtful or thoughtless to talk about... Don't forget to subscribe!

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Episode 619


Are Those Kids Getting Fresh Air?

In this episode Hank and Kevin are talkin' about some Tennessee kids fishin' a neighborhood pond, how not to behave as an adult, spottin' beers at the 7-11, Florida shark drug mules and what we're really after when fishing. Enjoy.

Episode 618


Ten Years Of Sausage

In this episode Kevin and Hank are talking about just what in the bleeeeep is happening in Florida, crack bears, sausage, sneezing your guts out and Hank's failed trip to Missoula. Enjoy!

Episode 617


Road Trips and Pie

This week Hank's is talkin' pie, Kevin's good decisions, road trips, sing-a-longs, fly fishing, bears, rats, boars and so much more. Enjoy!

Episode 616


Let's Call This One "Syrup"

Buckle up, this one's a doozy. This week Hank and Kevin are talking about the not so freebies on airlines, bizarre animal defense mechanisms and fake ID's. Enjoy!

Episode 615


Good Luck Bad Luck

Hey! This week Hank is joined by the long lost Kevin to chat about a long lost, then found WW2 B24 co-pilot. They're also chatting about fake button up shirts, tires, Hank's trip to New Orleans and much much more nonsense. Enjoy!

Episode 613


Destination Fly Shops

Hank's back from a two week hiatus to share his thoughts on taking care of each other, the importance of mental health and what makes a local fly shop a GREAT local fly shop. Enjoy!

Episode 612


It begins with a poop story

In this episode Hank is joined by fishing guide and author Ryan Johnston to chat about where to keep your cell phone and Ryan's books "A Reel Job" and "Reelly". Put your thinking cap away and give it a listen! Enjoy!

Episode 611


Barometric Mushroom Hunting

This week Hank is joined by his friend Erik to chat about non profit dinners, the effects of barometric pressure on fishing (YAWN) and the joys and threats of mushroom hunting. Enjoy!

Episode 610


Five Biggest Lies In Fishing

Once you get through a whole lot of craziness, you'll find Hank and Kevin discussing the top five lies that fishing folks tell on a very regular basis. This one's got fish, canibalism, two star generals and a whole lot more. Enjoy!

Episode 609


Fly Fishing Essentials

Hank's buddy Chris GerOnO returns for another rousing conversation about fly fishing, fishing high water, not fishing high water, essential gear to get started fly fishing and a bunch of other nonsense. Enjoy!

Episode 608


Fun Facts About Urinating

On this weeks episode Hank is flying solo and talking weather, the downsides of spring, taxes and some fun facts about cicadas! Enjoy!

Episode 607


Butterflies And The Habits Of Birds

This one's a doozy! Joing Hank and Kevin for an episode all about butterflies and birds. You'll learn some surprising facts about the habits of birds and some scientists who study them. You'll soon know where the term "Birds and the Bees" comes from. This one's not for the kids... trust us. Enjoy!

Episode 606


What Are We Teaching Our Children?

This week Hank is joined by his friend Jake to discuss the thousands of lessons every single child should be learning before they're allowed to watch tv, play video games, own a cell phone, learn algebra or go to school. It's a never ending list, here's the beginning of it. Enjoy!

Episode 605


Dokken, Ice Man and Reel Recovery

This week Hank is joined by a couple of Reel Recovery buddies, Nick Dokken and Tim Sickles! It's a conversation that meanders like a good carp stream. Why fly fishing? Why carp? What's amazing about Reel Recovery? And sooooo much more! Enjoy!

Episode 604


Ed and the ElkCamino

This week Hank is joined by his good friend Artist Ed Anderson to chat about Alaska Edventures, Florida Edventures, All Hands coctail beverages, FOMO and the ElkCamino project. Also chiming in are Hank's friends Nate and Rachel. This one's a dooozy. Enjoy!

Episode 603


Corner Crossing

Join Hank and Kevin for a rousing conversation about being sick, Hank's first cars and the public lands "corner crossing" debate. As usual, anything coming out of their mouths is debatable but it's a dang funny debate. Enjoy!

Episode 602


Pilot Lights And Praying Mantis

This weeks randomness is all about lighting pilot lights, horse hair worms, coffee shops, coffee, running marathons, chain smoking and so much more. Enjoy!

Episode 601


Good Times And Guiding

On this weeks episode Hank is joined by his good friend and fellow guide Chris Gerono -JER-O-NO to talk about fly fishing, guiding, nonsense, not much, a lot, too much and so much more. Enjoy!

Episode 600


Nonsense and Camper Camping

Season 6 is finally here! Can you believe it? Who woulda thought this nonsense would last so long? On this episode, Hank is joined by his friend Jake to discuss surgery in Turkey, working out, Wonka, Kevin, campers, tents and why we go camping. Lots of pointlessness and many laughs. Enjoy!

Episode 543


Cannonball Plunge!

In this, our Seaon 5 Finale, Hank and Kevin are rambling on and on about Stanley Cups, Taylor Swift, In and Out Burger, nude swimming at Bass Pro Shops and finally onto Aron Ralston and the fine line between bad luck and really bad luck. It's a hot mess. Enjoy!

Episode 542


This Is Your Year!

Welcome to the first episode of 2024! Brought to you by The Hank Patterson Pro Staff Patreon Patrons. On this episode Hank and Kevin are talking all about celebrating the new year, crushing it in the new year, new year resolutions, new year new you and all the other junk we tell ourselves to begin each year. Give it a listen. Enjoy!

Episode 540


Call Me Pickle!

Join Hank for a rousing conversation about smuggling prairie dogs, d-bag poachers in Montana and the incredible history of the fastest growing "sport" or "game" in the U.S.... Pickleball! Enjoy!

Episode 539


Claire's Elaborate Plan

This week Hank and Kevin are chatting about seasonal treats, how Hank's Dad pays a power bill and plenty more nonsense. Kevin also shares the story of Donald Crowhurst's failed sail or failed fake sail or failure to lose a race around the world. It's a doozy. Enjoy!

Episode 538


All The Tacos

Here's an episode that reminds us all that this show is practically about nothing at all. Join Hank and Kevin as they discuss tacos, worm flies, astronauts, food and so much more of nothing at all. Enjoy!

Episode -11537


Thankful To Be Alive

This one's a doozey! From cattle to cats and dogs to grizzlies, this is as random and weird as these episodes gets. Join Hank and his buddy Jake as they discuss the difference between reactionary and precautionary and the lessons the National Parks learned from a 1967 tragedy in Glacier.  Enjoy!

Episode 541


A Donner Party Christmas

Happy Holidaze and Merry Christmas everyone! Join Hank and Kevin for a rousing conversation about dolphins taking over the world, re-gifting, It's A Wonderful Life and making the most of the worst Christmas ever. Enjoy!

Episode 536


Get Your Elk?

This week Hank has some thoughts on his upcoming trip to Disneyland and Jake joins the show to tell us all about his successful elk hunt and how he smashed up his face! Enjoy!

Episode 535


Ankle Deep In A Bucket Of Hot Water

This week Hank and Kevin and chatting about acceptable Halloween candy, Elm street jello shots, Hank's broken ankle, Kindergarten Cop and the planet earth. It's a mixed bag. Always is. Enjoy!

Episode 534


When Giraffe's Attack!

Here's an episode alllll about Sasquatch, Aliens, Pythons, Giraffe attacks and so much more and so much less. It's a dandy! Hambone! Enjoy.

Episode 533


It's Good To Be Valued

This week Hank is talking about some recent experiences working with super cool organizations that use Fly Fishing to help others. Hank attended the Crazy Reese Hopper Dropper Derby to support Reel Recovery and spent some time in Arkansas with The Mayfly Project and he'll tell you all about it. Plus, the utter joys of being an Otter! Enjoy!

Episode 532


A Python Like Tyson's Bicep

This week Hank shares a snake story from a trailer park in Oklahoma and his thoughts on getting lucky. Then Kevin has prepared an spooky unsolved mystery about a group of young hikers, deep in the wilderness of Siberia.  Enjoy!

Episode 531


That Better Be An Heirloom Watch

This week Hank is joined by Kevin and Jake to talk about a whole lot of nonsense. Getting trapped in the campground crapper, Hunting in Idaho's units 14 and 15, head barrels and the etiquette of who pays for the gas on a camping, hunting or fishing trip. Recorded on video for the first time in many years. This one's a hot mess. Enjoy!

Episode 529


Highs and Low Bars

Hank's got some amazing life advice, stories from his previous life as a bad sales person, examples of how the outdoors is going to kill us all and a whole lot of talk about winning, losing and football. Enjoy!

Episode 530


Don't Be Mad, Let's Go Fishing

Here's a random little ditty all about weddings, pooping in a bucket, living off the grid, living on the grid, high cost of rent and leaving ALL THAT GARBAGE behind so you can truly enjoy the great outdoors. Everyone, not matter your politics, is invited to enjoy this lovely episode. Hambone! Snap It!

Episode 528


Clothespin For My Nose, Bucket For My Ass

This week Hank and Kevin present, for your listening pleasure, a hodgepodge of random weirdness about air travel, car insurance, changing the oil, fighting grizzly bears, subway sandwiches and much much more. Enjoy!

Episode 527


Rafting For World Peace

Join Hank and Kevin for a lovely conversation about the etiquette of when you can and cannot rub it in that you're on vacation and the story of a raft ride across the Atlantic tha may be histories inspiration behind modern reality television. Hambone! Enjoy!

Episode 526


Manatees, Spiders, Cocaine! Oh My!

Hank and Kevin are off the rails this week. Prepare your ears for some crazy banana spider stories, manatees getting weird and some thoughts on the influx of found cocaine in our forests and on our beaches. This ones a doozy. Enjoy!

Episode 525


Summer Sucks!

Hank and Kevin are back with an update on Lake Tahoe's most famous black bear Hank The Tank, an introduction to the PFC (pillow fighting championship), thoughts on Brad Pitt, phone booth boxing and finally a deep dive into the many reasons that Summer is the worst of all four seasons. Enjoy!

Episode 524


Swimming On Safari

This week Hank and Kevin are chatting about grocery store hot dogs, gorilla gender, Taco Bell realities, crocodile death rolls and so much more. Enjoy the ride!

Episode 523


Lab Grown Chicken Meat

Kevin called in sick but luckily Hank talks too much. In this episode you'll get to hear all about new, fresh, exciting advancements in the chicken meat industry, staying safer in the beautiful outdoors and tons more absolute nonsense.  Enjoy!

Episode 522


National Park Entry Quiz

This weeks hodge podge of topics includes: Broken windows, Pickleball, Dressage, Slapping competitions, Harry Potter, Quiditch, hobby horses and the creation of an entry level quiz for all who hope to enter a National Park.  Enjoy!

Episode 521


We're Out Of Yogurt

On this episode Hank and Kevin discuss jogging, jogging with bears, not jogging, fishing not catching, hiking goals and what to do when the yogurt runs dry. Enjoy!

Episode 520


That's Not Toilet Paper!

This week Hank is recording river side with friends Nate and Rachel. It all begins with an unfortunate story involving poison ivey and eventually to a spirited conversation about the etiquette of fishing a friends super secret spot. Enjoy!

Episode 519


History's Most Brutal Bear Attack

WARNING! This tale of a 1915 bear attack that takes place in a small Japanese village is... well... brutal. Hank and Kevin begin the episode talking medication side effects and then launch into a most brutal bear attack(s) story. Blame Kevin. It's a doozy! Enjoy!

Episode 518


Bear Meat Candy Man

Join Hank and Kevin for a lively conversation about taking kids camping, bear meat vending machines, Hank's life as a Candy Man and so much more absolute random nonsense. Hambone! Enjoy!

Episode 517


Rabid Cats and Public Lands

This week is a grab bag of topics from getting gruby tourist mits on baby animals to rabid Floridian cats attacking Floridians to the love of our Public Lands. Enjoy!

Episode 516


Where's The Furthest Bar?

The bleeeeep count on this weeks episode is an an all time high! We begin with Hank on his "how to be a better human being" soap box before he and Kevin launch into a discussion about the harshest environments human beings call home and the world's most remote bars. Enjoy!

Episode 515


Surviving National Parks

This week Hank and Kevin are talking about getting out fly fishing, how not to rob a Subway Sandwich shop and the many ways to die in a National Park.  Enjoy!

Episode 514


Mickey Is Waiting

This is an episode best suited for the grown ups. You've been warned. This week, Hank and Kevin and Jake are discussing weiner shaped ice bergs, pooping in buckets, Arkansas neighbors, Moose at the movies, fruit roll up smuggling and Hank's observations on MisAdventures in Disneyland.  Enjoy!

Episode 513


Surviving Pickleball

This week Hank and Kevin are talking smack about "influencers", the war betwixt tennis and pickleball and the harrowing survival story of four men, including Yossi Ghinsberg, lost in the Bolivian jungle. Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 512


Spin The Wheel And Pray For Help

This week Hank and Kevin are discussing shoes, shoe shopping, shoe carnivals, re-enactment survival shows, bad actors and a story of wind, rain and survival from the great state of Alaska's Misty Fjords. Enjoy!

Episode 511


ROAR And A Pile Of Dead Cats

This week Hank and Kevin discuss feral cats in Canterbury, a youth hunting competition gone wrong and all about the most dangerous movie ever made. Enjoy!

Episode 510


Horny Horny Hippo

Here's an episode where Hank and Kevin chat about the animals that are most likely to kill you. Enjoy!

Episode 509


Ganja Grizz and The Wings Of Hope

Join Hank and Kevin as they continue their season five stories of things going as wrong and amiss as is possible in the grand outdoors. They'll be talking about Hank's film idea Ganja Grizz and the story of Juliane Koepcke, the sole surviving soul from a 1971 flight over the Peruvian jungle. This one's a doozy. You'll never take cake for granted again. Enjoy!

Episode 508


Surviving Wrangle Island

Season five's stories of everything and anything going deadly wrong in the outdoors continues with the story of Ada Blackjack, the heroin of Wrangle Island and her faithful cat. Grab a beverage, put on yer lernin cap. Enjoy!

Episode 507


Lost In The Wilderness

This week, Hank and Kevin tell the tale of one of History's most ridiculous Outdoor MisAdventures with the story of Truman Evarts, a 54 year old office worker who, in 1870, was lost in Yellowstone in 1870 for 39 harrowing days. This and the story of the night Hank was born is more than enough reason to give a listen. Sit back. Grab a beverage. Prepare for a couple unbleeped F bombs. Enjoy.

Episode 506


Bat Meat In The Desert

On this weeks episode we're talking about eating delicious bat meat, seals mating in San Diego and much much more... Kevin shares the story of Mauro Prosperi, a French gentleman who got himself lost in the heart of the Sahara Desert. It's an adventure gone all kinds of wrong filled mostly with incredibly good luck! Enjoy!

Episode 505


Suicidal Pecans and Hypothermia

On this weeks edge of your seat adventure in hilarity, Hank and Kevin are talking about turning vegetables into fake meat, the signs of hypothermia, the romantic solutions to hypothermia and the weirdest of all hypothermia symptoms. Enjoy!

Episode 504



This week Hank is joined by his fishing buddy (aquaintance, "buddy" is a strong word) Erik to reminisce about fishing trips gone bad, fishing trips gone good, why fish at all and the risks associated with devouring a Rug Burn sandwich. Enjoy!

Episode 503


A Lovely View From Hell

Hank and Kevin are back with another harrowing story of survival agains all odds. This week's outdoor misadventure takes place in the middle of the Atlantic ocean where a 29 year old, recent divorcee finds himself adrift in a life raft after his boat sinks in the middle of the night. Thinking of purchasing a sail boat and crossing the pond? Listen to this first! Enjoy!

Episode 502


Donner Party Did It

Just a reminder, this is comedy... On this week's episode Hank and Kevin are talking about that one time that one airplane carrying members of that one rugby team crashed into that one mountain in the Andes. It's a famous story of a plane ride turning into an unexpected MisAdventure that most would not have the will to survive. This weeks humor comes from great tragedy so... be forewarned! Enjoy!

Episode 501


Walrus Roman Candle

Season five kicks off with a doozey! Hank is joined by his indoorsy friend Kevin to talk a little bit about some unfortunate food poisoning experiences and then unpack an explosive and rather unexpected story of a Walrus, Thor, celebrating the New Year in a small seaside UK town. You'll learn things about Walrus's, horses and squirrels that you never wanted to know. This one is NOT FOR THE KIDS! Enjoy!

Episode 438


A Good Time To Get Outside

On this, our final episode of season 4, Hank is joined by his buddy Jake to talk about the many reasons winter is a good time to get outside, vacation constipation, overcoming poop shyness, Hank's cold and a myriad of other nonsense. Happy New Year! Enjoy! See you for SEASON 5!

Episode 437


Don't Fight The Winter

It's the 2nd to last episode of season four!! Trust us, we need one more to redeem ourselves from the one you're about to listen to...  In this episode Hank talks wedding videos, Tik Tok, Avatar 2 and embracing the snow and winter.  Enjoy!

Episode 437


Don't Fight The Winter (1)

It's the 2nd to last episode of season four!! Trust us, we need one more to redeem ourselves from the one you're about to listen to...  In this episode Hank talks wedding videos, Tik Tok, Avatar 2 and embracing the snow and winter.  Enjoy!

Episode 436


Useful and Useless Holidaze Gift Guide

Here's a random, rambling list of some good, some bad, a few useful and many useless gift ideas for the outdoor human in your life. Happy Holidaze, Merry Christmas, Enjoy!

Episode 435


Thankful Thankful Thankful

It's that time of year again, where Hank takes a break from his typical personality and disposition to be thankful...  You'll hear how much he appreciates fire, fishing, baking, the Starbucks App, friends, family, all of you and so much more. Enjoy!

Episode 434


Winter In Texas

Here's a special edition episode recorded live on the beach, in a wind storm, in Corpus Christi Texas. When cold and wind turned Hank's Red Fishing trip into a "let's drink in the tent" trip, Hank and friends picked up a couple microphones and recorded this episode. Enjoy!

Episode 433


Dogs Don't Give Kisses

On this weeks exciting, mind melting, nonsensicle episode Hank is talking with his buddy Jake about all sorts of things... Severed heads, dog kissess, hide and seek, hunting and sheep. ENJOY!

Episode 432


Surviving an EDventure!

This week, Hank is joined by his buddy artist Ed Anderson. They'll be talking all about fishing off Sanibel Island, elk hunting, bears in Alaska, being a tattoo guy and so much more...  Enjoy!

Episode 431


Finding Elk and Surviving Nukes

Here's a disorganized little ditty that follows no particular pattern and we're all the better for it. Finding elk, not finding deer, soup with Van Gogh and how to survive a nuclear bomb are a handful of the many topics on today's episode. Take off your thinking cap and enjoy!

Episode 430


Weighed Down Walleye

Hank's singing Christmas tunes, talking Grizzly bear Tattoos and ranting about cheaters cheating in a Walleye tournament in lake Eerie. This one's a doozy. Enjoy!

Episode 429


Gatorade Goat Gangs

Little ditty 'bout getting hooked in the neck, mt. goats, urine, pumpkin bread and more. Enjoy!

Episode 428


Kickin' Pinecones and Skippin Flat Stones

Hank's back with an episode all about poaching punishments, big foot sightings in South Carolina, taking a hiatus from news and politics and skipping stones. Enjoy!

Episode 426


Emotional Support Gator

Hank's ramblings this week include some thoughts on Gazelle eating Hippos, sleeping under the stars, wearing overalls and a domesticated named Wally. Enjoy!

Episode 425


Soaking Up The Poop Water

Hank spent some less than relaxing time at the cabin last week and we get to hear him bitch and moan about that, tourists and cheetos. Also, did you know Hank loves pancakes? You will after this episode. Enjoy!

Episode 424


Three Bodies, Two Heads and a Foot

This weeks nonsense includes Hank's thimbal of knowledge pertaining to wine, severed foots, broccoli tacos and a gear suggestion you will not want to miss. Enjoy!

Episode 423


Death By Photo

In this episode Hank talks about his favorite books, meeting a Pulitzer Prize winner and how to take outdoor photos without getting yourself killed to death. Enjoy!

Episode 421


Why Climb A Mountain?

Hank's back with a rambling episode all about hot dog casserole, climbing Mt. Whitney, motivation and how NOT to litter in the great outdoors. Enjoy!

Episode 420


The Universe Has Your Back

Hank's going on and on about the amazing dry fly fishing he's been having... again...  He's also yammering about kindness, neighborlyness, etiquette and camping alone. Listen with a friend or while camping alone! Enjoy!

Episode 419


Go Play Outside

Hank got buzzed by a rattler. Some crazy fish washed up on a California beach and people loved it! An unhealthy fear of birds. Gettin' your kids to get outside. Pants tucked into socks. Hillarity. Enjoy!

Episode 418


No Jet Skiing In Heaven

On this episode Hank shares his thoughts on one mans master plan to escape to Cuba on a Jet Ski, what to do when you're the only one catching fish and what to do when it rains on your camping trip. Enjoy!

Episode 417


Bird Food For Bears

Here's an episode all about hammocks, what not to use during a caddis hatch, salmon flies, wales and the Lochness monster.  Enjoy!

Episode 416


Snakes Had Legs

Here's a episode sure to answer many questions you never had. It's all about making decisions while impaired, reptile weiners, Arbys and how to enjoy fishing! Enjoy!

Episode 415


Wash Your Own Balls

Here are some thoughts on going 12 rounds in a pro boxing match and a recap of Hanks amazing, historic and educational trip to Boston. Enjoy!

Episode 414


Where'd You Hide The Body?

Here's an episode all about whoppers, law suits, droughts, lake Mead 2nd winters and barrels.  Sound scattered? It is. Enjoy!

Episode 413


Keg Stands In Mesopotamia

Here's an episode of nonsense all about snack crackers, catch and release vs catch and keep and a history lesson you don't need about beer. Enjoy!

Episode 412


Is That A Crossbow In Your Pants?

This week we're discussing some disturbing things about Florida Man's shoplifiting habits and then learnin' all about one of history's greatest inventions. It's an episode YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS! Turn it up and hang on! And we end with one of Hank's fave HILLFOLK NOIR songs! Enjoy!

Episode 411


Windshield Shattering Season

This week Hank is on what can best be described as a rant about errant golf balls, rocks on freeways and taking personal responsibility. After that tirade we're talking about animals seeing the world in slow motion. Enjoy! And APOLOGIES to all our GOLFER listeners.

Episode 410


Weird Wild Deep Sea Wieners

Kevin's back! Just in time to find a nugget of gold on TikTok and learn some fun facts about lobster urine, ghost shark wieners, octopi and a few more of our oceanianic friends. Enjoy!

Episode 409


Deep Fried Cheese Curd

During this epic train wreck, Hank drones and an on about gas prices, sledding, snowmobiles, bad drivers and plenty of other things he knows absolutely nothing about. Enjoy!

Episode 408


HappyBirthday Yellowstone

Here's a little ditty all about bad choices in convenience stores, a road trip, a brutal way for bees to die and a lesson you probably already knew about Yellowstone National Park. Enjoy!

Episode 407


Hungry Bears & Hairless Cats

This week we're giving an update on Lake Tahoe's Hank The Tank, proper architecture for bear country, how NOT to feed your hairless cat and tips on what to have in your first aid kid. Enjoy!

Episode 406


Frozen Wieners & Dog Poop

Join Hank this week for an in depth discussion and learning experience all about powdered cheese, frozen wieners at the Olympic games, fat shaming bears and how to manage dog poop. Enjoy!

Episode 405


Chewbacca Already Has A Coat

Here's a little ditty 'bout keepin' warm in the out of doors, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and the entirety of Star Wars lacking the technology to keep them all warm in the out of doors, some guy stealin' a bobcat and so much more.  Enjoy!

Episode 404


Coffee Anyone?

On this weeks episode we're talkin' snake prisoner revenge, Hank's history with beer and how to roast your own coffee beans over a campfire. And we have more music from our friends Hillfolk Noir! You like the tunes? That's who's singin' 'em. Enjoy!

Episode 403


Welcome to Dick Shooter, Idaho

This week we're learnin' all about Dick Shooter, Idaho... But before that, we're talking about doomsday prepping, escaped lab monkeys and the value of your used vehicle. It's all nonsense. Enjoy!

Episode 402


Kick Ass Bear Spray Holster

If you ever wanted random, half researched, possibly correct, maybe incorrect information about how to best use your bear spray, this is the episode for you. We'll talk Bear Spray holsters, spray painting antlers and plenty of other nonsense on another amazing episode! Enjoy!

Episode 401


To Drink Or Not To Drink Your Urine

It's Season Four! The season where we learn some junk. Some completely useless, some mostly useless and all pretty dang funny. We kick the season off with this... Mountain cats murdering Elk on front porches and a deep dive into the subject of drinking your urine to survive an emergency outdoor situation.  Enjoy!

Episode 343


Ice On The Nether Region

Surprise! Here's one last episode to end 2021 and Season three.  Hank shares his thoughts on holiday car/truck commercials, new years resolutions, new year planning and finding common ground. Happy New Beer! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidaze. ENJOY!

Episode 342


Hank To Alaska

Season three is coming to a close with Hank finally telling some stories about his 2021 trip to Alaska's Bristol Bay. Sit back, relax, have a beverage and enjoy this episode all about boy bands, Justin Timberlake, the seasons first snow, grizzly bears, grizzly bears and salmon. Enjoy!

Episode 341


Prison Rules!

There are three funny moments in this weeks episode...  Good luck finding 'em! It's like a Holiday Easter Egg hunt!  During this train wreck, Hank and Alex talk fake Christmas trees, Nat Geo films, opportunistic wolves and getting off the grid. Enjoy!

Episode 340


Red Fish & Chum

Here's a post Thanksgiving day episode all about my first ever Red Fish experience, advanced chum methods for those who don't want to bother learning how to fish, how to keep a secret spot a secret and much much more.  Enjoy! Here's a post Thanksgiving day episode all about my first ever Red Fish experience, advanced chum methods for those who don't want to bother learning how to fish, how to keep a secret spot a secret and much much more.  Enjoy!

Episode 339


Elk In Vegas

It's that time of year again where hardly anyone got their elk and practically everyone has an excuse why. On this episode we're talking bee attacks, steel wool, an awesome camping hack, tick tock, piranha and so much more. Enjoy!

Episode 338


Donner Party Planner

Here's an episode to listen to without the kids!  This week Hank and Kevin are discussing blood thirsty Alaskan Otter gangs, a rare flower blooms in Europe, defending the strawberry Pop Tart and how to properly plan for a Donner party camp trip. Enjoy!

Episode 337


They Wandered Off The Trail

This one has everything you'd ever want in a podcast - sharks, bears, smash mouth, fish pageants, food poisoning, dirt roads and some survival tips for those who are lost and refuse to admit to being lost. Turn off your brain and turn up the volume. Enjoy!

Episode 336


Don't Let The Island Vibes Go

Here's a super chill episode all about the super chill island vibes Hank immersed himself in while visiting the Hawaiian island of Kauai. It's a stress free episode all about being stress free. It's an episode about Hank's favorite things to do while in Kauai and all about the amazing and kind people who live and work there. It's also a crazy long rant of hilarity.  Shaka Brah!

Episode 334


He Found Himself

This week Kevin and Hank continue their quest to teach you absolutely nothing about absolutely nothing while talking about practically nothing. That nothing includes dirt road etiquette, hair dye advertising and a search party story fit for a feature film. Hambone! Enjoy!

Episode 333


Perpetually Unemployed

Aspiring to live in a van down by the river? Here are a few things to consider when designing your conversion van according to a couple half wits (Hank & Kevin) who know absolutely nothing about it. As always, this one promises very little educational value! We promise. Hambone! FlapJacks! Enjoy.

Episode 332


Morning Ham

This week Hank is joined by his buddy Jake to talk all about a sneezing issue, the many excuses for not catching fish and superstitions. Hambone! Enjoy.

Episode 331


Hobbit Life

The intelligence of the common trout, the intelligence of the common fly fisher, living in hobbit holes, the benefits and drawbacks of walnuts and much more nonsense make up this weeks episode. Pop a beverage and enjoy!

Episode 330


Feed The Bats Chili

The name says it all! Here's an episode all about bat guano, ghost hunters, terrible restaurants, the Indiana serial pooper and the origins of cooking. Enjoy!

Episode 329


Just Add Butter

Here's an episode all about cows attacking beach combers, sun bathing at dairy farms, the health benefits of not doing a Triathalon, befriending chimpanzees and all the things you forgot to remember to take camping.... Enjoy!

Episode 328


Weary Traveler Talking And Talking

Hank's back from Alaska, sleep deprived and ready to drone on and on about the beauty of being off the grid and out of your comfort zone. But before all that, a little bit of information and likely misinformation about the history of Alaska becoming a state. Don't take notes, it's likely all wrong. Hambone! Enjoy!

Episode 327


Why They Call It Freestyle

It all begins with some super sweet whistling. You're welcome. From there we're onto motivational meme's, the Olympics, swimming and a whole new way to up your fireside cooking game! Hank in there everyone! Enjoy!

Episode 326


Ponder The Vastness Of The Universe

This week, Hank and Kevin are talking sharks, smoking toad venom, the importance of skipping school and shoulder season. Enjoy!

Episode 325


Being A Good Neighbor

Hank's on his high horse this week sharing his profound thoughts on being a good neighbor, testing meth on trout, lazy alligators and much much more. Thankfully, Kevin's around to keep Hank from going too far off the rails. Enjoy! Be Kind To Others! Hambone!

Episode 324


Gator Trappers Wanted

Looking to learn some valuable lessons about the the great outdoors? Keep on scrolling! No learnin' here. Looking to laugh at complete outdoor nonsense? Hit the play button! This week we're talkin' gators, Kevin and the kids pond fishing, a sure way to shut down a water slide reality TV show and much much more. Enjoy!

Episode 323


Let Your Meat Rest

The best time of year not to jog, beer belly t-shirts, cooling off in Lake Tahoe, grillin', catching fish, bailing on a bear hunt and more. Enjoy!

Episode 322


Are Those Bats Buffy?

The fragile indoorsman returns for an episode all about bringing a dog to breakfast, bears and wolves taking over the world and the most likely animal to kill you in your home state. Enjoy!

Episode 321


Diving For Lobster

Among other nonsense and hilarity, this week Hank is talking about harvesting lobsters, keeping an eye out for humpback whales, people watching at the mall, a great place to get inside in West Yellowstone, Newsies the musical and running into a parade on the river. Enjoy!

Episode 320


Sperm Whale Vomit

The episode title says it all! Here's a not so deep dive into the worth of whale vomit, when to purchase used outdoor gear, rattle snake anatomy and my sisters shrewd Grand Canyon observations.  ENJOY!

Episode 319


Don't Buy Bargain Meat

Here's an episode that's not even an episode.... An episode about not having an episode and more. An episode that explores when not to look for a bargains, mosquito soap drawbacks and the difference between a novel, novella and short story.  Listen twice in case you miss the many profound metaphors. Enjoy!

Episode 318


Elevate Your Meat

Previously on Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures, a bunch of randomness. On this weeks episode learn nearly nothing about electric mountain bikes, nothing but the bagel spice, sriracha bbq sauce, how not to catch a mirror carp and more! Enjoy!

Episode 317


Better To Be Lucky Than Good

Wild boar gangs in Italy, calculated Beaver attacks in Canada, hippie cicadas high on shrooms... The great outdoors are crazy and this episode is right there with 'em! Enjoy!

Episode 316


Unicorn Serial Killer

Another step into the weirdness of the great outdoors and the creatures who live there. Sasquatch murder, Mosquitoes saving the rain forest and the etiquette of tipping your guide.  Hambone! Flapjack! Enjoy.

Episode 315


International Tent Thief

Hank has Alex back on the show this week to discuss a subject she knows very well...  How to pull off the perfect tent heist. Along with tent thievery, they'll be chatting about things not to do with barbecue tongs, rattle snake long tongin' and the best cereal for camping. Enjoy!

Episode 314


Mosquitoes Came First

Baby news. Colonoscopy updates. An in depth discussion on the purpose of mosquitoes. Corn fields. Pythons. Wind for the win! Here's an hour of hilarity you do not want to miss! Hambone! Enjoy.

Episode 313


Bear Suits and Wind (1)

Among other nonsense, Hank & Kevin discuss the benefits of owning a good bear suit, Hank's upcoming colonoscopy, preparing for rain, snow, hot, cold and how wind ruins everything. If you got plans to get outdoors anytime soon, you won't want to miss this or any other episode! Hambone! Get Your Colonoscopy! Enjoy.

Episode 312


Don't Pee On The Fire

Here's a nearly full hour of nearly five minutes of useful outdoor advice for anyone heading out camping for the very first time! Grab a pen and a post it note and get ready to take three or four notes. Skunks. Urinating on fires. Turning over in a sleeping bag. Sharp jagged rocks. The likelihood of being surrounded by a wolf pack. And MUCH MORE on this weeks episode. ENJOY!

Episode 311


Hank Wasn't Invited

Kevin's amazing week culminates in the purchase of the vehicle of his dreams. An exploration of the dietary habits of the urban crow. Cholesterol. Cargo shorts. The etiquette of letting someone know you went fishing without them. Enjoy!

Episode 310


Why Hippos Have Tails

Nature has many beautiful surprises... this is not one of them. Just when we thought we'd hit rock bottom, we find a shovel. This weeks topics include Hippos, working on the river, mini van alternatives and Hank's better than a rooftop tent idea. Hambone! Enjoy!

Episode 309


Fragile Indoorsman

Hank is flying solo this week! Kick back and enjoy some deep, not so intellectual, rousing, energetic thoughts on 25 cent Schaeffer Lights, 2 liter bottles of Sunshine Orange Blast Wine Coolers, Rooftop tents, the Taco Bell app, Mini Vans and Kevin's life as a Fragile Indoorsman.  Enjoy! Hambone!!

Episode 308


Golf Balls & Sport Jackets

Coordinated squirrel attacks, laying around in an MRI machine, smothering steaks, fully loadin' baked taters and a rousing conversation about golf - a sure fire way ruin a perfectly nice day in the outdoors. Fore! Enjoy!

Episode 306


Dig A Deeper Hole

Finally, a Hank Patterson recommended books to read episode! But before we get to the literature, we'll be treated to stories of bears biting butts in outhouses, how to cook spaghetti on a stick and much much more. ENJOY!

Episode 307



I knew the title, the minute I heard these words uttered on this weeks episode. This week Alex and I are talking safety in the Grand Canyon, where to clean out a barrel, snake charming and much much more. Enjoy! -Hank

Episode 305


The Heavens Had Thai Food

Here's an episode chock full of sophomoric humor that we should apologize for. Parachuting Beavers, Leeches on your nether regions and a dumpin' of snow all come together to form yet another super awesome episode. Enjoy!

Episode 304


Surviving Survivalist

If you plan to get lost in the forest anytime soon, here's an episode full of ideas on how you can stay lost. This won't help you find your way home, but it'll help you enjoy the harrowing experience. Hambone! FlapJack! Compass! Enjoy!

Episode 303


Wally The Wolverine

You hear about the rare wolverine in Yellowstone? You're about too. What are some good reasons to cheat at fly fishing? We'll let you know. How can you cheat? We'll let you know that too. Looking to listen to pure nonsense? We got your back. Hambone! Enjoy!

Episode 302


Doomsday Preppy

How prepared are you to head for the hills in a moments notice? How ill prepared are your friends? Are you prepped for a week of camping, a day of fishing, a weekend of skiing, fifty years in a bunker? Learn more or less or absolutely nothing in this weeks episode. Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 301


It's Not A Pet It's A Prisoner

Mousetraps, matching socks, ferrets, rats, forked tongues and a rousing conversation about the difference between pets and an animal prisoners....  Listen with your dog! Enjoy!

Episode 300


Happy New Beer!

Happy New Year and Happy New Beer everyone! Here's the kick off to season three. Raccoons in Christmas trees, $700 ski pants, resolutions to steer clear of and much much more. Hambone! Jammies! Enjoy!

Episode 235


We Wish You A Merry Fishmas!

Season 2’s finale is a not so extravagant Hank Patterson Holiday Extravaganza! If you’re looking for a list of things not to purchase the outdoor human in your life or advice on what to pay for a dog, this is the episode for you. Thanks for a super successful season two! Happy Holidaze! Enjoy.

Episode 234


Warm Heart Cockles

Here's a super awesome episode about Kangaroo Island, Pygmy Possums, imitation vanilla, a surprising fact about beavers and the multitude of things Hank's lost in the wilderness. Enjoy!

Episode 233


A Drumstick In Every Bite!

A man's puppy pulled from the jaws of an alligator, delicious snack crackers, a haystack tarp cover you won't want to miss and an assortment of products you might have forgotten existed. Hope you enjoy!

Episode 232



This week Hank & Kevin drone on and on about climbing mountains, missing hook sets, chrome water & tiny flies, how dirty is too dirty when it comes to your truck, losing your pride, a little ditty 'bout Rick and Monica and where to find the silver lining in you outdoor misadventures.  Enjoy!

Episode 231


Yellowstone Fart Chicken

Before digging into the always controversial topic of "hot spotting" (aka "sharing info. on where you were fishing or hunting") Hank and Kevin chat about how to infuse a whole new flavor into your chicken and the importance of keeping your dog away from your gun. It's a whole lot of nonsense... We promise! Enjoy!

Episode 230


Stuffed With Ghost Peppers

Fear Factor delicacies, sugar junky monkey gangs, exotic pet petting zoos and the life cycle of the common fly fisher...  This one's a doozy. Enjoy!

Episode 228


Harry Potter and The Magic Glow Gun

Words of wisdom... Will likely not be uttered in this episode. Hank makes friends with a skunk, drowns his phone in the river, considers a lawn mowing career, reminds us all that "it ain't the gears fault" and advises us where you can find the most reliable outdoor gear for your next trip. Enjoy!

Episode 227


Enjoy The Journey

Here's more information about the mating habits of the porcupine than you should ever need, along with a solid reason to never job in Utah, how to make an award winning cobbler and finally a deep, meaningful, transcendental, life affirming conversation about the finite nature of life and how it effects our outdoor adventures. Enjoy!

Episode 229


Gored, Golf and Sad Sacks

This week takes us on a random journey of topics including Hank cancelling his gym membership, another in a long list of why you shouldn't play golf, Shiela's pet deer and a dedication to all the sad sack, unsuccessful hunters and fishers and much much more. Enjoy!

Episode 226


Who Provides The Beer?

You won't want to miss parts of this one! Corporate golden parachutes, bears recycling, Grizzly Prints, Hank's week at a VRBO in Island Park, Idaho and finally some insight into the etiquette of inviting and being invited on a fishing trip. Hambone! FlapJack!

Episode 225


If You Go To Find Yourself, Bring Groceries

So you want to be a mountain man...  Join Hank and Kevin for a conversation about Dan Haggerty's beard, the real Jeremiah Johnson, liver recipes, ornery mules, Mt. Man hygiene, The Revenant and other complete nonsense.

Episode 224


Parakeet Falconer

Grab your clipboard and a ballpoint pen, Hank's got his Life Coach hat on and is ready to impart some sure fire career advice you won't find anywhere else. The rest of the show is spent discussing miracle python spawn, rabbit predators, a Montana campground escapee and the Twilight Zone. It's a hot mess of randomness. Enjoy!

Episode 223


Lordy Be Hank Got Outside!

Here's an episode featuring bears eating candy in supermarkets, Kevin's illustrious football career and Hank's most recent day on the water. Settle into the pew, Hank's about to hop on the soap box and preach about the glories of just getting outside. Enjoy!

Episode 222


Squatch Watch!

Shark Week's got nothing on Sasquatch Week! Here's an episode that starts with some pack out what you pack in advice for outdoor newbies and slowly devolves into a conversation about the many cable network shows searching for twelve foot fur creatures with glowing red eyes and an unmatched talent for hide and go seek. Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 221


Bison At The Cheesecake Factory

If you're looking to learn practically nothing about genetically modified mosquitoes, male pattern eagle baldness, bears vs wolf packs and new bikinis for men look no further than this weeks episode! We got you covered. Enjoy!

Episode 220


Babe 3 The Reckoning

This week, Hank is joined by Kevin and Jake to discuss the etiquette of being a driver or passenger on a road trip to the outdoors BUT before that... Snakes In SUV AC Systems, Fecal Transplants, Pants Stealing Boars and a looming Pepperoni emergency. Enjoy!

Episode 219


Don't Forget To Forget The Salad

Escaped alligators, newspapers, bears eating peanut butter sandwiches and what not to eat while camping are just a few of the hard hitting topics tackled in this weeks incredibly important episode. Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 218


Just Say Nope

This weeks episode features - Bears kickin' in doors, Hank's old man and his weaponry, brother in law got a new boat and when it's ok and not ok to bail on a fishin' trip. It's a "not to be missed" episode. Enjoy! -Hank

Episode 217


Chainsaw Wielding Baboons

This weeks list of topics goes something like this...  Tooth Aches, Armed Baboons, Yellowstone Trip, Nunchucks, Silent Motorcycles, High School Musical and planning a trip to Alaska. Enjoy!

Episode 216


Camping Curious

This weeks episode features random and rousing conversations about playing dead during a Bison Attack, Star Wars and how to prepare yourself or a friend or a family member for a first time ever camp trip.  If you've never ever never camped or are taking a friend who's never ever never gone camping on a camping trip, here's some solid advice on how to make it a successful trip. Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 215


Hank's Fortress Of Solitude

In this weeks episode Hank and Kevin discuss Hank's recent outdoor adventure including an earth quake, a perfect crime and a silhouette image you won't soon forget. That nonsense segues to in depth conversation about surviving in the wilderness, domesticating grizzly bears and writing a novel. Enjoy!

Episode 214


RV’s and Keggers and Bears Oh My!

This weeks grab bag of content includes solid advice on how to avoid wild animal attacks, whether or not to camp on 4th of July weekend and a completely random and pointless conversation about the pros and cons of owning and driving a 50 foot motor coach RV. Enjoy!

Episode 213


Hank Needed To Go Fishing

Hank's solo this week with an hour and twenty minute stream of consciousness all about his recent fishing trip, being Alone and a whole lot more. This one may be better listened to with a beer beverage in hand. Hambone! Cheers! FlapJack! Enjoy.

Episode 212



This week Hank and Kevin are talking Python Hunting in the Everglades, running into a group of Vision Questers, Star Gazing, Hop Scotching and a whole lot more. Grab a beers, crank up the laugh track and enjoy!

Episode 210


Slippery Steps and Marbles

This week Hank is joined by his friends Kevin and Jake to ramble on about marble racing, camping in the middle of dirt roads and people who litter. It's a gem! Hambone! Enjoy!

Episode 209


Workin' A Big Brown

By the time the show starts Hank and Kevin will have already talked apple pie, tater tots, strawberry rhubarb pie, small town greasy spoons and a whole lot more before moving on to conversations Hank eavesdropped on a recent fishing trip. Enjoy!

Episode 208


Hey, Watch Your Step!

This weeks episode includes some not so in depth and completely out of focus discussions about the Big Bang Theory, sneaking into Yellowstone, selfies, tourist site photography and much more and much less from Hank and Kevin. Enjoy the show!

Episode 207


First Degree Murder Hornets

After a lengthy look into Hank's Financial Planning plans or lack there of, Hank offers up a deep nonsensical and uneducated dive into the imminent threat that Murder Hornets and other bugs pose to our outdoor activities and lives in general. MurderHornet! Hambone! ArmyAnt! Enjoy.

Episode 206


Catch Keep Release Repeat

Here's an episode to douse the flames of the historic battle betwixt catch and releasers and catch and keepers! No matter how you like your fish... released to the river or released to your cooler, you're sure to learn very little! Enjoy the show!

Episode 205


Social Distancing Elmo

This week, Hank is joined by his friend Jake to randomly discuss baking, Oreos, Sesame Street and how to discourage others from camping or fishing near you. Enjoy!

Episode 204


Essential Oils

Buckle up, this one's a doozy...  After a rousing conversation involving cow urine and essential oils, Hank and Kevin are talking about what they most look forward to getting out and doing in the great outdoors when the country opens back up. Enjoy!

Episode 203


Rat Gangs and Urine

Somewhere among the nonsense Hank and Kevin discuss drinking while working at home, rat cannibalism, urine particulates, tax write offs and how close is too close when camping, hiking and hiking.  Enjoy!

Episode 202


Quarantine The Wien!

This week Hank is turning that frown upside down, finding silver linings, discussing poop way too much, finding positives in a sea of negatives, changing his perspective and giving detailed instruction on how best to "rough it" in your own back yard.  Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 201


What Are You Bringing To The Apocalypse?

Here's the beginning of what's sure to be a crazy Season Two of the show! Sitting alone in the studio, weathering the pandemic and earthquake near his home, Hank shares thoughts on our current quarantine situation, hoarding, finding help, giving help and then calls a few friends to chat about the three things they plan to bring to the apocalypse.  Strange times, strange podcast, thanks for listening! Hambone! Jammies!

Episode 48


Please Don't Shake Hank's Hand

Here's an episode all about Hank's recent travels, hand sanitizer, hand washing, toilet paper alternatives and Hank's general germaphobia. Hash Pound No Hand Shakes! Enjoy!

Episode 47


Alone In The Wilderness

Hank, Alex and Kevin talk about star sightings in Ketchum Idaho, Hank's new favorite outdoor tv show and surviving alone in the wilderness. It's everything you hope for in this podcast and much much less. Hambone! Backpack! Enjoy!

Episode 46


The F3T Road Crew

In this super long hot mess of an episode Hank is joined by his friends Paul, Austin and Nick from the F3T Fly Fishing Film Tour. Topics include fly fishing films, snoring, Bay Watch, windowless vans and much, much, much, much more.  Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 45


The Reel Recovery Experience

Here's a bit of a departure from our regularly scheduled episodes! My friends Tim and Michelle join me to talk about an organization that means a whole hell of a lot to me - Reel Recovery. Enjoy! Be Well Fish On! Hambone! -Hank

Episode 44


Wouldn't Do That!

There are adventures we do, adventures we aspire to, adventures we'd like to aspire to but let's face it we'll never be able to do that and adventures that we have zero interest in even trying. In this episode Hank shares a list of super cool outdoor adventures that he has no interest in attempting.  Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 43


Making An Outdoor Film?

Hank shares his thoughts on rattle snakes, iguanas falling from trees and things to consider if you're thinking about making your very own outdoor film. It's a whole lot of nearly valuable information and opinions.  Action! Snap It! Enjoy!

Episode 42


Camping Hacks By Camping Hacks

Among other nonsense Hank talks about a recent ski trip, inflatable bear spray suits, the cup size of his face and an assortment of mostly bad camping hack ideas. Prepare your ears! Thanks for listening! Jammies! Enjoy.

Episode 41


Firecracker In The Marshmallow er Games Part 2

Hank shares his thoughts on TV's Man Vs. Bear & the very competitive sport of Slapping someone in the face. We also pick up from last weeks episode and talk games to play while camping including The Winking Assassin & Truth Or Dare. And if that weren't enough, Hank also shares some games you should NOT play.  Enjoy! Hambone!

Episode 40


Games To Play While Camping

When just being in nature isn't enough, here are some games you can play while heading to the campgrounds, while at the campgrounds, while around the fire and more. From cornhole to slug bug - from eye spy to trivial pursuit, we've got some doozies for you. So many, in fact, that we ran out of time. There are one or two "cover the kids ears" moments, so listen close! Hambone! -Hank

Episode 39


Kevin Brought Beer

When your friend Erik brings beer, you record a show. When Kevin brings beer the next day, you record a new show and then just mash the two shows together into one jumbled mess. Hope you enjoy it! Hambone! -Hank

Episode 38


Ahhhh The Holidaze

Here's an episode with everything you'd expect from Hank during the holidays - Christmas Carols sung poorly, bad Christmas memories, commercialism and a fair amount of complaining. It's the gift you hope stops giving! Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Merry Fishmas and thanks for listening! Hambone! Candy Cane! Enjoy.

Episode 37


Winter Hot Spots

After a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT and a little panhandling - Hank is joined by his good friend Charene to chat about internet trolls, a recent fly fishing excursion, how not to net a fish and finally where do you want to go adventuring during the winter months?" Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 36


Winter In The Out Of Doors

In this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex discuss their favorite and least favorite winter olympic sports, how "The Shining" could have been a comedy instead of horror film and the importance of embracing outdoor activities to get you through the long cold winter. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 35


It's Thanksgiving Hank Patterson!

Since we're taking Thanksgiving off (and hopefully you are too), I thought I'd release this special a week in advance. Learn all about how much I do or do not love turkey and just how close we all were to Thanksgiving being all about eating bald eagle meats.  Enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving! -Hank SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 34


Guides, clients and other ramblings.

In this long meandering and often times entertaining episode, Hank is joined by his good friend and fellow fishing guide Colby Crossland. The many topics discussed are fly fishing, instagraming, being a client, being a guide, movies and voice mail messages.  Hope you enjoy it! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 33


Manufacturing The Outdoors

In addition to telling us about his recent southern California theme park vacation, Hank shares a riveting story about a the the television programming he finds at 3am when suffering from insomnia.  It's an episode all about pretending to be outside while you're actually outside.  Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 32


How To Tell A Halloween Campfire Story

There's nothing better than a good old fashioned Halloween campfire story! In this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex walk you through all the scary elements required to tell your own story.  Boo! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 31


Outdoorsy Jobs

Here's an episode that begins with the unbelievable story of Hank's one and only ever experience watching a neighbor's dog and then goes on to tackle the question "what is your dream outdoor industry job?"  Give a listen and share with us your dream job. Snap It! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 30


Lodge Lodgings

In this, another incredibly uninformative episode, Hank, Kevin and Alex discuss the essential amenities that every single wilderness lodge should provide their guests. Give a listen and see if Hank's list checks all your boxes. Hambone! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 29


Don't Try The Blowfish!

If you're looking for an episode where three morons talk about the top ten or eleven most dangerous deadly animals in the world, look no further!  Here it is.  As a bonus Hank sings the theme song to the film Meatballs!  Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 28



If you LOVE hearing somebody ramble on and on about their vacation that you weren't invited on, you're going to LOVE this weeks episode.  Add some whiskey to your beer, kick back and enjoy a recap of Kevin and Hank's bro-trip to Cleveland Ohio! If you find this episode half as funny as Hank did while recording, you're sure to have a good time. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 27


The Very Definition Of Dedication

Don't let the number 27 fool you. This is not an episode. This is an episode about not having an episode. We're all too sick with a cold, the flu and walking pneumonia to put together a full episode.  Kevin called in sick. Alex doesn't want to be around sick people.  Hank was tough enough and dedicated enough to head into the studio and record this amazing non episode.  We'll be back next week with the real deal.  In the meantime, please enjoy listening to Hank's cold. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 26


It's not for everyone.

While Alex is away chasing her filmmaking dreams, Hank is joined by Kevin and his friend Lila whom you may recognize from the Hank Patterson's Camp Hawgadawgadaa series. On this episode we've got a record number of bleeps and a rousing discussion about outdoor activities we would or would not try.  Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 25


Relationship Advice For The Outdoorsy

Finally, a thoughtful, insightful, spot on podcast with sound relationship advice for those who enjoy the great outdoors! And who better to give that bullet proof advice than expert relationship-er Hank Patterson?! Are you an indoorsy human with an outdoorsy significant other? This podcast is for you.  Outdoorsy with and indoorsy spouse? Listen up and save the marriage.  Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 24


Does The Outdoor World Really Need That?

Join Hank, Kevin and Alex on a search for the most ridiculous outdoor items money can buy.  From canned sandwiches to bear spray backpacks, you're sure to find something so seemingly absurd you'll want to buy it.  Enjoy!

Episode 23


Wolf Attacks & Gear Not To Splurge On

On this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex spend a record amount of time not getting to the point...  Buckle up for our longest (that doesn't mean best) episode yet all about wolf attacks, barrels of body parts and outdoor gear you could or maybe shouldn't skimp on.

Episode 22


Do I Have A Job Tomorrow?

On this episode Hank is joined by friend, camera guy, editor and crew member Jake Hixon. They talk about a myriad of random things including silver salmon, frozen pizza, fishing into waterfalls and dropping eight thousand dollar cameras on concrete. Enjoy!

Episode 21


24 Hours

Just when we thought we had nothing to talk about on this weeks episode, Hank fell on his face.  Here's an episode all about getting injured in the wilderness. Pro Tip: Wear pants when climbing up rock walls.  Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 20


A Not So Artsy Conversation With Ed Anderson

Finally, Hank gets to share his vast knowledge of the art world and all it's ism's - cubism, surrealism, expressionism, impressionism - with you listeners. On this episode Hank is joined by his good friend Artist Ed Anderson. It's a conversation about practically nothing and most of Hank's jokes fall flat.  Ed and Alex do a hell of a job.  Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 19


Grapes of Wrath Campground

Take your thinking caps off! You won't need them for this or any other episode of this podcast. On this weeks show Hanks shares some random observations about camping, campgrounds, driving fast, littering and much more. Because nobody else would come talk to him, Hank is again joined by Alex and Kevin.  Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 18


Camping With The Dogs

There's no better camping companion than a dog. Unless it's a dog that bites people in the face or a dog that never stops barking or unless you're an owner who yells at the dog to stop barking more than the dog actually barks or unless your dog hates the outdoors.  Other than that, there's no better camping companion.  Here's Hank, Kevin and Alex talking about 1/2 the things you need to consider if you're considering taking your dog camping.  Enjoy.

Episode 17


Pretend Camping

Finally, a rambling podcast that goes right to the heart of the controversial issues associated with how we, as a society, define what is or is not camping and what should or should not be considered a campground.  Listen. Camp. Learn nothing. Repeat. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 16


Bad Movies Are For Camping

Among other nonsense, Hank, Alex and Kevin discuss camp hosts cleaning bathrooms, gluten free beer, exploding whales and whether or not to watch movies while camping.

Episode 15


Hank's Trip To Bozeman

If you thought the other episodes were about absolutely nothing at all, wait'll you hear this one! Hank complains about his cold, talks about the ice cream truck, looks at property near West Yellowstone, drops in to Bozeman and fishes Silver Creek.  You get to hear random bits about his trip.  Enjoy!

Episode 14


Owning A Cabin

Owning a cabin is the dream of many outdoor enthusiasts. A quiet, relaxing getaway somewhere far from the hustle and bustle of the honk honk and beep beep of the city. But is it truly worth it? Is the dream a lie? In this episode Hank, Alex and Kevin discuss whether owning a cabin is truly a dream or an absolute nightmare.

Episode 13


Blah Blah Blah Hank Ate An Entire Cheesecake

In this episode about absolutely nothing in particular Hank and Alex are joined by their fishing friend Charene "The Adventure Queen" Herrera. They talk about fly fishing, women in fly fishing, adventuring, Idaho, Montana and cheesecake.

Episode 12


Hank's Guide To Kauai

Freshly back from basking in the glorious sun on the island of Kauai, Hank's ready to share some tips on how you too can enjoy telling everyone about your vacation. Listen carefully, useful bits of information in this episode are few and far between. Hambone!

Episode 11


Summer Preparations

Are you ready to embark on your summer outdoor adventures?  Geared up? Destinations identified? Dates circled on the calendar? On this episode, Hank, Kevin and Sean (sitting in for Alex) give some tips you likely haven't considered and certainly won't find anywhere else on how you can get the most out of your summer.  Five minutes of solid advice in an hour long podcast! Enjoy.

Episode 10


The Pointless Joys Of Hiking

The only thing more meandering and off the beaten path than actual hiking is this episode!  Hank is, once again, joined by Kevin and Alex for an in-depth, in-correct and off the rails discussion on all things hiking.  Enjoy!

Episode 9


Beyond Bro

In this episode Hank is in Missoula, Montana, recording with his good friends Tom Rosenbauer, Hilary Hutcheson, Joel Thompson and Erik Moncada. It's an episode that starts off the rails and never finds its way back. You're sure to learn absolutely nothing from some of fly fishing's greatest.  HashPound Ticks! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 8


The History Of Camping

Here's a history lesson you'll never find in a book! Hank Patterson's History Of Camping. Join Hank, Kevin and engineer Alex as they meander aimlessly, from cavemen to the pioneers, through the rich history of camping. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 7


Conservation Conversations

This week, Hank is joined by Trout Unlimited President and CEO, Chris Wood! For the first time in the Outdoor Misadventure's podcast history, many intelligent and thoughtful things will be said. Hank will also talk. Thanks for listening! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 6


Wading In Rivers

In this episode, despite his continued promise that you will learn absolutely nothing by listening to his podcast, Hank teaches us some proper and likely improper techniques on how to wade in a river. Hank's lawyers would also appreciate it if we mention that following a single word of Hank's advice is at your own risk. Hambone! Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 5


Camping with the kids

What's better than taking the kids into the great outdoors?  You're about to find out.  Join Hank and Alex as Hank talks and talks and talks and talks and mumbles and talks all about the joys of not taking the kids on your next camping or fishing trip. Apologies to the kids and parents. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 4


Tents VS. Campers

Join Hank as he, Alex the engineer and indoorsy expert Kevin explore the pros and cons of tent vs. camper camping. Learn everything you need to know about whether you identify as a "tent camper" or "camper camper." SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 3


That one time in Alaska

Hank and fishing guide buddy friend Chris Ger-O-No! share stories from their 8 day float down the Arolik River in Alaska. You'll learn very little while laughing a lot. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 2


How To Survive Yellowstone National Park

In this episode Hank is joined by friend Kevin Nielsen to discuss the dangers of visiting, adventuring and vacationing in Yellowstone National Park. Hank shares his never tried and likely not true methods of survival, a wealth of statistical misinformation and a hell of a lot of laughs in what he considers and "instant classic" episode. Snap It! Stay In Your Car! Do Not Feed The Bison! See you at the park! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 1


If Hank Talks In A Forest...

At long last, Hank Patterson's first ever Podcast. Welcome to the disaster! On this episode Hank focuses, as he often does, on Hank. What makes Hank tick? What are Hank's credentials? What are Hank's earliest memories of camping and fishing? Joining Hank is our resident indoorsman, Kevin Nielsen. It's our first, it can only get better from here and it's way way better with beer. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE:

Episode 0


Hank Patterson's Outdoor Misadventures Coming Soon!

Hold on to your tent flaps and fly rods! Hank Patterson is about to launch his brand new, super shiny, way hilarious PODCAST.... Hank Patterson's Outdoor Misadventures! Launching Thursday March 14th Subscribe today and prepare to forget everything you ever thought you knew about camping, fly fishing and surviving in the outdoors!