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Follow along as Hank wanders around the literal and metaphoric wilderness in search of something meaningful or meaningless or thoughtful or thoughtless to talk about... Don't forget to subscribe!
Winter In Texas
Episode Summary -- 11/21/2022
Here's a special edition episode recorded live on the beach, in a wind storm, in Corpus Christi Texas. When cold and wind turned Hank's Red Fishing trip into a "let's drink in the tent" trip, Hank and friends picked up a couple microphones and recorded this episode. Enjoy!
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Winter In Texas
Here's a special edition episode recorded live on the beach, in a wind storm, in Corpus Christi Texas. When cold and wind turned Hank's Red Fishing trip into a "let's drink in the tent" trip, Hank and friends picked up a couple microphones and recorded this episode. Enjoy!
Dogs Don't Give Kisses
On this weeks exciting, mind melting, nonsensicle episode Hank is talking with his buddy Jake about all sorts of things... Severed heads, dog kissess, hide and seek, hunting and sheep. ENJOY!
Surviving an EDventure!
This week, Hank is joined by his buddy artist Ed Anderson. They'll be talking all about fishing off Sanibel Island, elk hunting, bears in Alaska, being a tattoo guy and so much more... Enjoy!
Finding Elk and Surviving Nukes
Here's a disorganized little ditty that follows no particular pattern and we're all the better for it. Finding elk, not finding deer, soup with Van Gogh and how to survive a nuclear bomb are a handful of the many topics on today's episode. Take off your thinking cap and enjoy!
Weighed Down Walleye
Hank's singing Christmas tunes, talking Grizzly bear Tattoos and ranting about cheaters cheating in a Walleye tournament in lake Eerie. This one's a doozy. Enjoy!
Gatorade Goat Gangs
Little ditty 'bout getting hooked in the neck, mt. goats, urine, pumpkin bread and more. Enjoy!
Kickin' Pinecones and Skippin Flat Stones
Hank's back with an episode all about poaching punishments, big foot sightings in South Carolina, taking a hiatus from news and politics and skipping stones. Enjoy!
Emotional Support Gator
Hank's ramblings this week include some thoughts on Gazelle eating Hippos, sleeping under the stars, wearing overalls and a domesticated named Wally. Enjoy!
Soaking Up The Poop Water
Hank spent some less than relaxing time at the cabin last week and we get to hear him bitch and moan about that, tourists and cheetos. Also, did you know Hank loves pancakes? You will after this episode. Enjoy!
Three Bodies, Two Heads and a Foot
This weeks nonsense includes Hank's thimbal of knowledge pertaining to wine, severed foots, broccoli tacos and a gear suggestion you will not want to miss. Enjoy!
Death By Photo
In this episode Hank talks about his favorite books, meeting a Pulitzer Prize winner and how to take outdoor photos without getting yourself killed to death. Enjoy!
Why Climb A Mountain?
Hank's back with a rambling episode all about hot dog casserole, climbing Mt. Whitney, motivation and how NOT to litter in the great outdoors. Enjoy!
The Universe Has Your Back
Hank's going on and on about the amazing dry fly fishing he's been having... again... He's also yammering about kindness, neighborlyness, etiquette and camping alone. Listen with a friend or while camping alone! Enjoy!
Go Play Outside
Hank got buzzed by a rattler. Some crazy fish washed up on a California beach and people loved it! An unhealthy fear of birds. Gettin' your kids to get outside. Pants tucked into socks. Hillarity. Enjoy!
No Jet Skiing In Heaven
On this episode Hank shares his thoughts on one mans master plan to escape to Cuba on a Jet Ski, what to do when you're the only one catching fish and what to do when it rains on your camping trip. Enjoy!
Bird Food For Bears
Here's an episode all about hammocks, what not to use during a caddis hatch, salmon flies, wales and the Lochness monster. Enjoy!
Snakes Had Legs
Here's a episode sure to answer many questions you never had. It's all about making decisions while impaired, reptile weiners, Arbys and how to enjoy fishing! Enjoy!
Wash Your Own Balls
Here are some thoughts on going 12 rounds in a pro boxing match and a recap of Hanks amazing, historic and educational trip to Boston. Enjoy!
Where'd You Hide The Body?
Here's an episode all about whoppers, law suits, droughts, lake Mead 2nd winters and barrels. Sound scattered? It is. Enjoy!
Keg Stands In Mesopotamia
Here's an episode of nonsense all about snack crackers, catch and release vs catch and keep and a history lesson you don't need about beer. Enjoy!
Is That A Crossbow In Your Pants?
This week we're discussing some disturbing things about Florida Man's shoplifiting habits and then learnin' all about one of history's greatest inventions. It's an episode YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS! Turn it up and hang on! And we end with one of Hank's fave HILLFOLK NOIR songs! Enjoy!
Windshield Shattering Season
This week Hank is on what can best be described as a rant about errant golf balls, rocks on freeways and taking personal responsibility. After that tirade we're talking about animals seeing the world in slow motion. Enjoy! And APOLOGIES to all our GOLFER listeners.
Weird Wild Deep Sea Wieners
Kevin's back! Just in time to find a nugget of gold on TikTok and learn some fun facts about lobster urine, ghost shark wieners, octopi and a few more of our oceanianic friends. Enjoy!
Deep Fried Cheese Curd
During this epic train wreck, Hank drones and an on about gas prices, sledding, snowmobiles, bad drivers and plenty of other things he knows absolutely nothing about. Enjoy!
Here's a little ditty all about bad choices in convenience stores, a road trip, a brutal way for bees to die and a lesson you probably already knew about Yellowstone National Park. Enjoy!
Hungry Bears & Hairless Cats
This week we're giving an update on Lake Tahoe's Hank The Tank, proper architecture for bear country, how NOT to feed your hairless cat and tips on what to have in your first aid kid. Enjoy!
Frozen Wieners & Dog Poop
Join Hank this week for an in depth discussion and learning experience all about powdered cheese, frozen wieners at the Olympic games, fat shaming bears and how to manage dog poop. Enjoy!
Chewbacca Already Has A Coat
Here's a little ditty 'bout keepin' warm in the out of doors, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and the entirety of Star Wars lacking the technology to keep them all warm in the out of doors, some guy stealin' a bobcat and so much more. Enjoy!
On this weeks episode we're talkin' snake prisoner revenge, Hank's history with beer and how to roast your own coffee beans over a campfire. And we have more music from our friends Hillfolk Noir! You like the tunes? That's who's singin' 'em. Enjoy!
Welcome to Dick Shooter, Idaho
This week we're learnin' all about Dick Shooter, Idaho... But before that, we're talking about doomsday prepping, escaped lab monkeys and the value of your used vehicle. It's all nonsense. Enjoy!
Kick Ass Bear Spray Holster
If you ever wanted random, half researched, possibly correct, maybe incorrect information about how to best use your bear spray, this is the episode for you. We'll talk Bear Spray holsters, spray painting antlers and plenty of other nonsense on another amazing episode! Enjoy!
To Drink Or Not To Drink Your Urine
It's Season Four! The season where we learn some junk. Some completely useless, some mostly useless and all pretty dang funny. We kick the season off with this... Mountain cats murdering Elk on front porches and a deep dive into the subject of drinking your urine to survive an emergency outdoor situation. Enjoy!
Ice On The Nether Region
Surprise! Here's one last episode to end 2021 and Season three. Hank shares his thoughts on holiday car/truck commercials, new years resolutions, new year planning and finding common ground. Happy New Beer! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidaze. ENJOY!
Hank To Alaska
Season three is coming to a close with Hank finally telling some stories about his 2021 trip to Alaska's Bristol Bay. Sit back, relax, have a beverage and enjoy this episode all about boy bands, Justin Timberlake, the seasons first snow, grizzly bears, grizzly bears and salmon. Enjoy!
There are three funny moments in this weeks episode... Good luck finding 'em! It's like a Holiday Easter Egg hunt! During this train wreck, Hank and Alex talk fake Christmas trees, Nat Geo films, opportunistic wolves and getting off the grid. Enjoy!
Red Fish & Chum
Here's a post Thanksgiving day episode all about my first ever Red Fish experience, advanced chum methods for those who don't want to bother learning how to fish, how to keep a secret spot a secret and much much more. Enjoy! Here's a post Thanksgiving day episode all about my first ever Red Fish experience, advanced chum methods for those who don't want to bother learning how to fish, how to keep a secret spot a secret and much much more. Enjoy!
Elk In Vegas
It's that time of year again where hardly anyone got their elk and practically everyone has an excuse why. On this episode we're talking bee attacks, steel wool, an awesome camping hack, tick tock, piranha and so much more. Enjoy!
Donner Party Planner
Here's an episode to listen to without the kids! This week Hank and Kevin are discussing blood thirsty Alaskan Otter gangs, a rare flower blooms in Europe, defending the strawberry Pop Tart and how to properly plan for a Donner party camp trip. Enjoy!
They Wandered Off The Trail
This one has everything you'd ever want in a podcast - sharks, bears, smash mouth, fish pageants, food poisoning, dirt roads and some survival tips for those who are lost and refuse to admit to being lost. Turn off your brain and turn up the volume. Enjoy!
Don't Let The Island Vibes Go
Here's a super chill episode all about the super chill island vibes Hank immersed himself in while visiting the Hawaiian island of Kauai. It's a stress free episode all about being stress free. It's an episode about Hank's favorite things to do while in Kauai and all about the amazing and kind people who live and work there. It's also a crazy long rant of hilarity. Shaka Brah!
He Found Himself
This week Kevin and Hank continue their quest to teach you absolutely nothing about absolutely nothing while talking about practically nothing. That nothing includes dirt road etiquette, hair dye advertising and a search party story fit for a feature film. Hambone! Enjoy!
Aspiring to live in a van down by the river? Here are a few things to consider when designing your conversion van according to a couple half wits (Hank & Kevin) who know absolutely nothing about it. As always, this one promises very little educational value! We promise. Hambone! FlapJacks! Enjoy.
This week Hank is joined by his buddy Jake to talk all about a sneezing issue, the many excuses for not catching fish and superstitions. Hambone! Enjoy.
The intelligence of the common trout, the intelligence of the common fly fisher, living in hobbit holes, the benefits and drawbacks of walnuts and much more nonsense make up this weeks episode. Pop a beverage and enjoy!
Feed The Bats Chili
The name says it all! Here's an episode all about bat guano, ghost hunters, terrible restaurants, the Indiana serial pooper and the origins of cooking. Enjoy!
Just Add Butter
Here's an episode all about cows attacking beach combers, sun bathing at dairy farms, the health benefits of not doing a Triathalon, befriending chimpanzees and all the things you forgot to remember to take camping.... Enjoy!
Weary Traveler Talking And Talking
Hank's back from Alaska, sleep deprived and ready to drone on and on about the beauty of being off the grid and out of your comfort zone. But before all that, a little bit of information and likely misinformation about the history of Alaska becoming a state. Don't take notes, it's likely all wrong. Hambone! Enjoy!
Why They Call It Freestyle
It all begins with some super sweet whistling. You're welcome. From there we're onto motivational meme's, the Olympics, swimming and a whole new way to up your fireside cooking game! Hank in there everyone! Enjoy!
Ponder The Vastness Of The Universe
This week, Hank and Kevin are talking sharks, smoking toad venom, the importance of skipping school and shoulder season. Enjoy!
Being A Good Neighbor
Hank's on his high horse this week sharing his profound thoughts on being a good neighbor, testing meth on trout, lazy alligators and much much more. Thankfully, Kevin's around to keep Hank from going too far off the rails. Enjoy! Be Kind To Others! Hambone!
Gator Trappers Wanted
Looking to learn some valuable lessons about the the great outdoors? Keep on scrolling! No learnin' here. Looking to laugh at complete outdoor nonsense? Hit the play button! This week we're talkin' gators, Kevin and the kids pond fishing, a sure way to shut down a water slide reality TV show and much much more. Enjoy!
Let Your Meat Rest
The best time of year not to jog, beer belly t-shirts, cooling off in Lake Tahoe, grillin', catching fish, bailing on a bear hunt and more. Enjoy!
Are Those Bats Buffy?
The fragile indoorsman returns for an episode all about bringing a dog to breakfast, bears and wolves taking over the world and the most likely animal to kill you in your home state. Enjoy!
Diving For Lobster
Among other nonsense and hilarity, this week Hank is talking about harvesting lobsters, keeping an eye out for humpback whales, people watching at the mall, a great place to get inside in West Yellowstone, Newsies the musical and running into a parade on the river. Enjoy!
Sperm Whale Vomit
The episode title says it all! Here's a not so deep dive into the worth of whale vomit, when to purchase used outdoor gear, rattle snake anatomy and my sisters shrewd Grand Canyon observations. ENJOY!
Don't Buy Bargain Meat
Here's an episode that's not even an episode.... An episode about not having an episode and more. An episode that explores when not to look for a bargains, mosquito soap drawbacks and the difference between a novel, novella and short story. Listen twice in case you miss the many profound metaphors. Enjoy!
Elevate Your Meat
Previously on Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures, a bunch of randomness. On this weeks episode learn nearly nothing about electric mountain bikes, nothing but the bagel spice, sriracha bbq sauce, how not to catch a mirror carp and more! Enjoy!
Better To Be Lucky Than Good
Wild boar gangs in Italy, calculated Beaver attacks in Canada, hippie cicadas high on shrooms... The great outdoors are crazy and this episode is right there with 'em! Enjoy!
Unicorn Serial Killer
Another step into the weirdness of the great outdoors and the creatures who live there. Sasquatch murder, Mosquitoes saving the rain forest and the etiquette of tipping your guide. Hambone! Flapjack! Enjoy.
International Tent Thief
Hank has Alex back on the show this week to discuss a subject she knows very well... How to pull off the perfect tent heist. Along with tent thievery, they'll be chatting about things not to do with barbecue tongs, rattle snake long tongin' and the best cereal for camping. Enjoy!
Mosquitoes Came First
Baby news. Colonoscopy updates. An in depth discussion on the purpose of mosquitoes. Corn fields. Pythons. Wind for the win! Here's an hour of hilarity you do not want to miss! Hambone! Enjoy.
Bear Suits and Wind (1)
Among other nonsense, Hank & Kevin discuss the benefits of owning a good bear suit, Hank's upcoming colonoscopy, preparing for rain, snow, hot, cold and how wind ruins everything. If you got plans to get outdoors anytime soon, you won't want to miss this or any other episode! Hambone! Get Your Colonoscopy! Enjoy.
Don't Pee On The Fire
Here's a nearly full hour of nearly five minutes of useful outdoor advice for anyone heading out camping for the very first time! Grab a pen and a post it note and get ready to take three or four notes. Skunks. Urinating on fires. Turning over in a sleeping bag. Sharp jagged rocks. The likelihood of being surrounded by a wolf pack. And MUCH MORE on this weeks episode. ENJOY!
Hank Wasn't Invited
Kevin's amazing week culminates in the purchase of the vehicle of his dreams. An exploration of the dietary habits of the urban crow. Cholesterol. Cargo shorts. The etiquette of letting someone know you went fishing without them. Enjoy!
Why Hippos Have Tails
Nature has many beautiful surprises... this is not one of them. Just when we thought we'd hit rock bottom, we find a shovel. This weeks topics include Hippos, working on the river, mini van alternatives and Hank's better than a rooftop tent idea. Hambone! Enjoy!
Hank is flying solo this week! Kick back and enjoy some deep, not so intellectual, rousing, energetic thoughts on 25 cent Schaeffer Lights, 2 liter bottles of Sunshine Orange Blast Wine Coolers, Rooftop tents, the Taco Bell app, Mini Vans and Kevin's life as a Fragile Indoorsman. Enjoy! Hambone!!
Golf Balls & Sport Jackets
Coordinated squirrel attacks, laying around in an MRI machine, smothering steaks, fully loadin' baked taters and a rousing conversation about golf - a sure fire way ruin a perfectly nice day in the outdoors. Fore! Enjoy!
Dig A Deeper Hole
Finally, a Hank Patterson recommended books to read episode! But before we get to the literature, we'll be treated to stories of bears biting butts in outhouses, how to cook spaghetti on a stick and much much more. ENJOY!
I knew the title, the minute I heard these words uttered on this weeks episode. This week Alex and I are talking safety in the Grand Canyon, where to clean out a barrel, snake charming and much much more. Enjoy! -Hank
The Heavens Had Thai Food
Here's an episode chock full of sophomoric humor that we should apologize for. Parachuting Beavers, Leeches on your nether regions and a dumpin' of snow all come together to form yet another super awesome episode. Enjoy!
If you plan to get lost in the forest anytime soon, here's an episode full of ideas on how you can stay lost. This won't help you find your way home, but it'll help you enjoy the harrowing experience. Hambone! FlapJack! Compass! Enjoy!
Wally The Wolverine
You hear about the rare wolverine in Yellowstone? You're about too. What are some good reasons to cheat at fly fishing? We'll let you know. How can you cheat? We'll let you know that too. Looking to listen to pure nonsense? We got your back. Hambone! Enjoy!
How prepared are you to head for the hills in a moments notice? How ill prepared are your friends? Are you prepped for a week of camping, a day of fishing, a weekend of skiing, fifty years in a bunker? Learn more or less or absolutely nothing in this weeks episode. Enjoy! Hambone!
It's Not A Pet It's A Prisoner
Mousetraps, matching socks, ferrets, rats, forked tongues and a rousing conversation about the difference between pets and an animal prisoners.... Listen with your dog! Enjoy!
Happy New Beer!
Happy New Year and Happy New Beer everyone! Here's the kick off to season three. Raccoons in Christmas trees, $700 ski pants, resolutions to steer clear of and much much more. Hambone! Jammies! Enjoy!
We Wish You A Merry Fishmas!
Season 2’s finale is a not so extravagant Hank Patterson Holiday Extravaganza! If you’re looking for a list of things not to purchase the outdoor human in your life or advice on what to pay for a dog, this is the episode for you. Thanks for a super successful season two! Happy Holidaze! Enjoy.
Warm Heart Cockles
Here's a super awesome episode about Kangaroo Island, Pygmy Possums, imitation vanilla, a surprising fact about beavers and the multitude of things Hank's lost in the wilderness. Enjoy!
A Drumstick In Every Bite!
A man's puppy pulled from the jaws of an alligator, delicious snack crackers, a haystack tarp cover you won't want to miss and an assortment of products you might have forgotten existed. Hope you enjoy!
This week Hank & Kevin drone on and on about climbing mountains, missing hook sets, chrome water & tiny flies, how dirty is too dirty when it comes to your truck, losing your pride, a little ditty 'bout Rick and Monica and where to find the silver lining in you outdoor misadventures. Enjoy!
Yellowstone Fart Chicken
Before digging into the always controversial topic of "hot spotting" (aka "sharing info. on where you were fishing or hunting") Hank and Kevin chat about how to infuse a whole new flavor into your chicken and the importance of keeping your dog away from your gun. It's a whole lot of nonsense... We promise! Enjoy!
Stuffed With Ghost Peppers
Fear Factor delicacies, sugar junky monkey gangs, exotic pet petting zoos and the life cycle of the common fly fisher... This one's a doozy. Enjoy!
Harry Potter and The Magic Glow Gun
Words of wisdom... Will likely not be uttered in this episode. Hank makes friends with a skunk, drowns his phone in the river, considers a lawn mowing career, reminds us all that "it ain't the gears fault" and advises us where you can find the most reliable outdoor gear for your next trip. Enjoy!
Enjoy The Journey
Here's more information about the mating habits of the porcupine than you should ever need, along with a solid reason to never job in Utah, how to make an award winning cobbler and finally a deep, meaningful, transcendental, life affirming conversation about the finite nature of life and how it effects our outdoor adventures. Enjoy!
Gored, Golf and Sad Sacks
This week takes us on a random journey of topics including Hank cancelling his gym membership, another in a long list of why you shouldn't play golf, Shiela's pet deer and a dedication to all the sad sack, unsuccessful hunters and fishers and much much more. Enjoy!
Who Provides The Beer?
You won't want to miss parts of this one! Corporate golden parachutes, bears recycling, Grizzly Prints, Hank's week at a VRBO in Island Park, Idaho and finally some insight into the etiquette of inviting and being invited on a fishing trip. Hambone! FlapJack!
If You Go To Find Yourself, Bring Groceries
So you want to be a mountain man... Join Hank and Kevin for a conversation about Dan Haggerty's beard, the real Jeremiah Johnson, liver recipes, ornery mules, Mt. Man hygiene, The Revenant and other complete nonsense.
Grab your clipboard and a ballpoint pen, Hank's got his Life Coach hat on and is ready to impart some sure fire career advice you won't find anywhere else. The rest of the show is spent discussing miracle python spawn, rabbit predators, a Montana campground escapee and the Twilight Zone. It's a hot mess of randomness. Enjoy!
Lordy Be Hank Got Outside!
Here's an episode featuring bears eating candy in supermarkets, Kevin's illustrious football career and Hank's most recent day on the water. Settle into the pew, Hank's about to hop on the soap box and preach about the glories of just getting outside. Enjoy!
Shark Week's got nothing on Sasquatch Week! Here's an episode that starts with some pack out what you pack in advice for outdoor newbies and slowly devolves into a conversation about the many cable network shows searching for twelve foot fur creatures with glowing red eyes and an unmatched talent for hide and go seek. Enjoy! Hambone!
Bison At The Cheesecake Factory
If you're looking to learn practically nothing about genetically modified mosquitoes, male pattern eagle baldness, bears vs wolf packs and new bikinis for men look no further than this weeks episode! We got you covered. Enjoy!
Babe 3 The Reckoning
This week, Hank is joined by Kevin and Jake to discuss the etiquette of being a driver or passenger on a road trip to the outdoors BUT before that... Snakes In SUV AC Systems, Fecal Transplants, Pants Stealing Boars and a looming Pepperoni emergency. Enjoy!
Don't Forget To Forget The Salad
Escaped alligators, newspapers, bears eating peanut butter sandwiches and what not to eat while camping are just a few of the hard hitting topics tackled in this weeks incredibly important episode. Enjoy! Hambone!
Just Say Nope
This weeks episode features - Bears kickin' in doors, Hank's old man and his weaponry, brother in law got a new boat and when it's ok and not ok to bail on a fishin' trip. It's a "not to be missed" episode. Enjoy! -Hank
Chainsaw Wielding Baboons
This weeks list of topics goes something like this... Tooth Aches, Armed Baboons, Yellowstone Trip, Nunchucks, Silent Motorcycles, High School Musical and planning a trip to Alaska. Enjoy!
This weeks episode features random and rousing conversations about playing dead during a Bison Attack, Star Wars and how to prepare yourself or a friend or a family member for a first time ever camp trip. If you've never ever never camped or are taking a friend who's never ever never gone camping on a camping trip, here's some solid advice on how to make it a successful trip. Enjoy! Hambone!
Hank's Fortress Of Solitude
In this weeks episode Hank and Kevin discuss Hank's recent outdoor adventure including an earth quake, a perfect crime and a silhouette image you won't soon forget. That nonsense segues to in depth conversation about surviving in the wilderness, domesticating grizzly bears and writing a novel. Enjoy!
RV’s and Keggers and Bears Oh My!
This weeks grab bag of content includes solid advice on how to avoid wild animal attacks, whether or not to camp on 4th of July weekend and a completely random and pointless conversation about the pros and cons of owning and driving a 50 foot motor coach RV. Enjoy!
Hank Needed To Go Fishing
Hank's solo this week with an hour and twenty minute stream of consciousness all about his recent fishing trip, being Alone and a whole lot more. This one may be better listened to with a beer beverage in hand. Hambone! Cheers! FlapJack! Enjoy.
PYTHONS, HOP SCOTCH, VISION QUESTS AND MORE
This week Hank and Kevin are talking Python Hunting in the Everglades, running into a group of Vision Questers, Star Gazing, Hop Scotching and a whole lot more. Grab a beers, crank up the laugh track and enjoy!
Slippery Steps and Marbles
This week Hank is joined by his friends Kevin and Jake to ramble on about marble racing, camping in the middle of dirt roads and people who litter. It's a gem! Hambone! Enjoy!
Workin' A Big Brown
By the time the show starts Hank and Kevin will have already talked apple pie, tater tots, strawberry rhubarb pie, small town greasy spoons and a whole lot more before moving on to conversations Hank eavesdropped on a recent fishing trip. Enjoy!
Hey, Watch Your Step!
This weeks episode includes some not so in depth and completely out of focus discussions about the Big Bang Theory, sneaking into Yellowstone, selfies, tourist site photography and much more and much less from Hank and Kevin. Enjoy the show!
First Degree Murder Hornets
After a lengthy look into Hank's Financial Planning plans or lack there of, Hank offers up a deep nonsensical and uneducated dive into the imminent threat that Murder Hornets and other bugs pose to our outdoor activities and lives in general. MurderHornet! Hambone! ArmyAnt! Enjoy.
Catch Keep Release Repeat
Here's an episode to douse the flames of the historic battle betwixt catch and releasers and catch and keepers! No matter how you like your fish... released to the river or released to your cooler, you're sure to learn very little! Enjoy the show!
Social Distancing Elmo
This week, Hank is joined by his friend Jake to randomly discuss baking, Oreos, Sesame Street and how to discourage others from camping or fishing near you. Enjoy!
Buckle up, this one's a doozy... After a rousing conversation involving cow urine and essential oils, Hank and Kevin are talking about what they most look forward to getting out and doing in the great outdoors when the country opens back up. Enjoy!
Rat Gangs and Urine
Somewhere among the nonsense Hank and Kevin discuss drinking while working at home, rat cannibalism, urine particulates, tax write offs and how close is too close when camping, hiking and hiking. Enjoy!
Quarantine The Wien!
This week Hank is turning that frown upside down, finding silver linings, discussing poop way too much, finding positives in a sea of negatives, changing his perspective and giving detailed instruction on how best to "rough it" in your own back yard. Enjoy! Hambone!
What Are You Bringing To The Apocalypse?
Here's the beginning of what's sure to be a crazy Season Two of the show! Sitting alone in the studio, weathering the pandemic and earthquake near his home, Hank shares thoughts on our current quarantine situation, hoarding, finding help, giving help and then calls a few friends to chat about the three things they plan to bring to the apocalypse. Strange times, strange podcast, thanks for listening! Hambone! Jammies!
Please Don't Shake Hank's Hand
Here's an episode all about Hank's recent travels, hand sanitizer, hand washing, toilet paper alternatives and Hank's general germaphobia. Hash Pound No Hand Shakes! Enjoy!
Alone In The Wilderness
Hank, Alex and Kevin talk about star sightings in Ketchum Idaho, Hank's new favorite outdoor tv show and surviving alone in the wilderness. It's everything you hope for in this podcast and much much less. Hambone! Backpack! Enjoy!
The F3T Road Crew
In this super long hot mess of an episode Hank is joined by his friends Paul, Austin and Nick from the F3T Fly Fishing Film Tour. Topics include fly fishing films, snoring, Bay Watch, windowless vans and much, much, much, much more. Enjoy! Hambone!
The Reel Recovery Experience
Here's a bit of a departure from our regularly scheduled episodes! My friends Tim and Michelle join me to talk about an organization that means a whole hell of a lot to me - Reel Recovery. Enjoy! Be Well Fish On! Hambone! -Hank
Wouldn't Do That!
There are adventures we do, adventures we aspire to, adventures we'd like to aspire to but let's face it we'll never be able to do that and adventures that we have zero interest in even trying. In this episode Hank shares a list of super cool outdoor adventures that he has no interest in attempting. Enjoy! Hambone!
Making An Outdoor Film?
Hank shares his thoughts on rattle snakes, iguanas falling from trees and things to consider if you're thinking about making your very own outdoor film. It's a whole lot of nearly valuable information and opinions. Action! Snap It! Enjoy!
Camping Hacks By Camping Hacks
Among other nonsense Hank talks about a recent ski trip, inflatable bear spray suits, the cup size of his face and an assortment of mostly bad camping hack ideas. Prepare your ears! Thanks for listening! Jammies! Enjoy.
Firecracker In The Marshmallow er Games Part 2
Hank shares his thoughts on TV's Man Vs. Bear & the very competitive sport of Slapping someone in the face. We also pick up from last weeks episode and talk games to play while camping including The Winking Assassin & Truth Or Dare. And if that weren't enough, Hank also shares some games you should NOT play. Enjoy! Hambone!
Games To Play While Camping
When just being in nature isn't enough, here are some games you can play while heading to the campgrounds, while at the campgrounds, while around the fire and more. From cornhole to slug bug - from eye spy to trivial pursuit, we've got some doozies for you. So many, in fact, that we ran out of time. There are one or two "cover the kids ears" moments, so listen close! Hambone! -Hank
Kevin Brought Beer
When your friend Erik brings beer, you record a show. When Kevin brings beer the next day, you record a new show and then just mash the two shows together into one jumbled mess. Hope you enjoy it! Hambone! -Hank
Ahhhh The Holidaze
Here's an episode with everything you'd expect from Hank during the holidays - Christmas Carols sung poorly, bad Christmas memories, commercialism and a fair amount of complaining. It's the gift you hope stops giving! Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Merry Fishmas and thanks for listening! Hambone! Candy Cane! Enjoy.
Winter Hot Spots
After a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT and a little panhandling - Hank is joined by his good friend Charene to chat about internet trolls, a recent fly fishing excursion, how not to net a fish and finally where do you want to go adventuring during the winter months?" Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Winter In The Out Of Doors
In this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex discuss their favorite and least favorite winter olympic sports, how "The Shining" could have been a comedy instead of horror film and the importance of embracing outdoor activities to get you through the long cold winter. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
It's Thanksgiving Hank Patterson!
Since we're taking Thanksgiving off (and hopefully you are too), I thought I'd release this special a week in advance. Learn all about how much I do or do not love turkey and just how close we all were to Thanksgiving being all about eating bald eagle meats. Enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving! -Hank SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Guides, clients and other ramblings.
In this long meandering and often times entertaining episode, Hank is joined by his good friend and fellow fishing guide Colby Crossland. The many topics discussed are fly fishing, instagraming, being a client, being a guide, movies and voice mail messages. Hope you enjoy it! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Manufacturing The Outdoors
In addition to telling us about his recent southern California theme park vacation, Hank shares a riveting story about a the the television programming he finds at 3am when suffering from insomnia. It's an episode all about pretending to be outside while you're actually outside. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
How To Tell A Halloween Campfire Story
There's nothing better than a good old fashioned Halloween campfire story! In this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex walk you through all the scary elements required to tell your own story. Boo! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Here's an episode that begins with the unbelievable story of Hank's one and only ever experience watching a neighbor's dog and then goes on to tackle the question "what is your dream outdoor industry job?" Give a listen and share with us your dream job. Snap It! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
In this, another incredibly uninformative episode, Hank, Kevin and Alex discuss the essential amenities that every single wilderness lodge should provide their guests. Give a listen and see if Hank's list checks all your boxes. Hambone! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Don't Try The Blowfish!
If you're looking for an episode where three morons talk about the top ten or eleven most dangerous deadly animals in the world, look no further! Here it is. As a bonus Hank sings the theme song to the film Meatballs! Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
If you LOVE hearing somebody ramble on and on about their vacation that you weren't invited on, you're going to LOVE this weeks episode. Add some whiskey to your beer, kick back and enjoy a recap of Kevin and Hank's bro-trip to Cleveland Ohio! If you find this episode half as funny as Hank did while recording, you're sure to have a good time. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
The Very Definition Of Dedication
Don't let the number 27 fool you. This is not an episode. This is an episode about not having an episode. We're all too sick with a cold, the flu and walking pneumonia to put together a full episode. Kevin called in sick. Alex doesn't want to be around sick people. Hank was tough enough and dedicated enough to head into the studio and record this amazing non episode. We'll be back next week with the real deal. In the meantime, please enjoy listening to Hank's cold. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
It's not for everyone.
While Alex is away chasing her filmmaking dreams, Hank is joined by Kevin and his friend Lila whom you may recognize from the Hank Patterson's Camp Hawgadawgadaa series. On this episode we've got a record number of bleeps and a rousing discussion about outdoor activities we would or would not try. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Relationship Advice For The Outdoorsy
Finally, a thoughtful, insightful, spot on podcast with sound relationship advice for those who enjoy the great outdoors! And who better to give that bullet proof advice than expert relationship-er Hank Patterson?! Are you an indoorsy human with an outdoorsy significant other? This podcast is for you. Outdoorsy with and indoorsy spouse? Listen up and save the marriage. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Does The Outdoor World Really Need That?
Join Hank, Kevin and Alex on a search for the most ridiculous outdoor items money can buy. From canned sandwiches to bear spray backpacks, you're sure to find something so seemingly absurd you'll want to buy it. Enjoy!
Wolf Attacks & Gear Not To Splurge On
On this episode Hank, Kevin and Alex spend a record amount of time not getting to the point... Buckle up for our longest (that doesn't mean best) episode yet all about wolf attacks, barrels of body parts and outdoor gear you could or maybe shouldn't skimp on.
Do I Have A Job Tomorrow?
On this episode Hank is joined by friend, camera guy, editor and crew member Jake Hixon. They talk about a myriad of random things including silver salmon, frozen pizza, fishing into waterfalls and dropping eight thousand dollar cameras on concrete. Enjoy!
Just when we thought we had nothing to talk about on this weeks episode, Hank fell on his face. Here's an episode all about getting injured in the wilderness. Pro Tip: Wear pants when climbing up rock walls. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
A Not So Artsy Conversation With Ed Anderson
Finally, Hank gets to share his vast knowledge of the art world and all it's ism's - cubism, surrealism, expressionism, impressionism - with you listeners. On this episode Hank is joined by his good friend Artist Ed Anderson. It's a conversation about practically nothing and most of Hank's jokes fall flat. Ed and Alex do a hell of a job. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Grapes of Wrath Campground
Take your thinking caps off! You won't need them for this or any other episode of this podcast. On this weeks show Hanks shares some random observations about camping, campgrounds, driving fast, littering and much more. Because nobody else would come talk to him, Hank is again joined by Alex and Kevin. Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Camping With The Dogs
There's no better camping companion than a dog. Unless it's a dog that bites people in the face or a dog that never stops barking or unless you're an owner who yells at the dog to stop barking more than the dog actually barks or unless your dog hates the outdoors. Other than that, there's no better camping companion. Here's Hank, Kevin and Alex talking about 1/2 the things you need to consider if you're considering taking your dog camping. Enjoy.
Finally, a rambling podcast that goes right to the heart of the controversial issues associated with how we, as a society, define what is or is not camping and what should or should not be considered a campground. Listen. Camp. Learn nothing. Repeat. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Bad Movies Are For Camping
Among other nonsense, Hank, Alex and Kevin discuss camp hosts cleaning bathrooms, gluten free beer, exploding whales and whether or not to watch movies while camping.
Hank's Trip To Bozeman
If you thought the other episodes were about absolutely nothing at all, wait'll you hear this one! Hank complains about his cold, talks about the ice cream truck, looks at property near West Yellowstone, drops in to Bozeman and fishes Silver Creek. You get to hear random bits about his trip. Enjoy!
Owning A Cabin
Owning a cabin is the dream of many outdoor enthusiasts. A quiet, relaxing getaway somewhere far from the hustle and bustle of the honk honk and beep beep of the city. But is it truly worth it? Is the dream a lie? In this episode Hank, Alex and Kevin discuss whether owning a cabin is truly a dream or an absolute nightmare.
Blah Blah Blah Hank Ate An Entire Cheesecake
In this episode about absolutely nothing in particular Hank and Alex are joined by their fishing friend Charene "The Adventure Queen" Herrera. They talk about fly fishing, women in fly fishing, adventuring, Idaho, Montana and cheesecake.
Hank's Guide To Kauai
Freshly back from basking in the glorious sun on the island of Kauai, Hank's ready to share some tips on how you too can enjoy telling everyone about your vacation. Listen carefully, useful bits of information in this episode are few and far between. Hambone!
Are you ready to embark on your summer outdoor adventures? Geared up? Destinations identified? Dates circled on the calendar? On this episode, Hank, Kevin and Sean (sitting in for Alex) give some tips you likely haven't considered and certainly won't find anywhere else on how you can get the most out of your summer. Five minutes of solid advice in an hour long podcast! Enjoy.
The Pointless Joys Of Hiking
The only thing more meandering and off the beaten path than actual hiking is this episode! Hank is, once again, joined by Kevin and Alex for an in-depth, in-correct and off the rails discussion on all things hiking. Enjoy!
In this episode Hank is in Missoula, Montana, recording with his good friends Tom Rosenbauer, Hilary Hutcheson, Joel Thompson and Erik Moncada. It's an episode that starts off the rails and never finds its way back. You're sure to learn absolutely nothing from some of fly fishing's greatest. HashPound Ticks! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
The History Of Camping
Here's a history lesson you'll never find in a book! Hank Patterson's History Of Camping. Join Hank, Kevin and engineer Alex as they meander aimlessly, from cavemen to the pioneers, through the rich history of camping. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
This week, Hank is joined by Trout Unlimited President and CEO, Chris Wood! For the first time in the Outdoor Misadventure's podcast history, many intelligent and thoughtful things will be said. Hank will also talk. Thanks for listening! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Wading In Rivers
In this episode, despite his continued promise that you will learn absolutely nothing by listening to his podcast, Hank teaches us some proper and likely improper techniques on how to wade in a river. Hank's lawyers would also appreciate it if we mention that following a single word of Hank's advice is at your own risk. Hambone! Enjoy! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Camping with the kids
What's better than taking the kids into the great outdoors? You're about to find out. Join Hank and Alex as Hank talks and talks and talks and talks and mumbles and talks all about the joys of not taking the kids on your next camping or fishing trip. Apologies to the kids and parents. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Tents VS. Campers
Join Hank as he, Alex the engineer and indoorsy expert Kevin explore the pros and cons of tent vs. camper camping. Learn everything you need to know about whether you identify as a "tent camper" or "camper camper." SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
That one time in Alaska
Hank and fishing guide buddy friend Chris Ger-O-No! share stories from their 8 day float down the Arolik River in Alaska. You'll learn very little while laughing a lot. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
How To Survive Yellowstone National Park
In this episode Hank is joined by friend Kevin Nielsen to discuss the dangers of visiting, adventuring and vacationing in Yellowstone National Park. Hank shares his never tried and likely not true methods of survival, a wealth of statistical misinformation and a hell of a lot of laughs in what he considers and "instant classic" episode. Snap It! Stay In Your Car! Do Not Feed The Bison! See you at the park! SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
If Hank Talks In A Forest...
At long last, Hank Patterson's first ever Podcast. Welcome to the disaster! On this episode Hank focuses, as he often does, on Hank. What makes Hank tick? What are Hank's credentials? What are Hank's earliest memories of camping and fishing? Joining Hank is our resident indoorsman, Kevin Nielsen. It's our first, it can only get better from here and it's way way better with beer. SUPPORT THE SHOW HERE: www.patreon.com/hankpatterson
Hank Patterson's Outdoor Misadventures Coming Soon!
Hold on to your tent flaps and fly rods! Hank Patterson is about to launch his brand new, super shiny, way hilarious PODCAST.... Hank Patterson's Outdoor Misadventures! Launching Thursday March 14th Subscribe today and prepare to forget everything you ever thought you knew about camping, fly fishing and surviving in the outdoors!